What stirred through the willows
couldn't be real
for you have been gone awhile, but yet
you were here in that moment~
I know you were.
The wind moved my soul
and strands of hair whipped its hugs around my neck
while ‘I’m not gone’ whistled in my ear.
I smiled when I heard
and turned, expecting...... something,
but as clouds dropped their tiny bombshells
exploding on my cheeks,
I was reminded again
of your final breath,
and my last, deep weeping.
Author notes
prompt: i heard your voice today
In a list
A contest entry
- I heard your voice today. . . . by JinSays.
898 points, ended July 4, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 83 of 83
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I think this touched my heart because I have lost too, sometimes it's so hard to believe people we love are never coming back. Lovely piece. Best to you in the contest
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Amazing.
Ah, this is a wonderful poem. It truly captured me.
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Congratulations on the Bronze Cup!!
It seems I may have already commented on this fantastic write. At any rate, I think this is a very deserving and inspiring poem, a surreal masterpiece!! 
Thank you for sharing your muse's brilliance with all of us, I'm wishing you all the best!! 
Peace & Hugs,
xx Cyn xx
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Wonderful write. I have had the experience you speak of here. I always feel kinda smug afterwards, like yea,,,he stilll thinks of me.
You are improving all the time. I ecpext to hear good things about you in the near future.
Sharob
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This is a powerful piece that brought the image of "What Dreams May Come" to my mind. It tugs at the heartstrings and the reader can feel the pain in your words. The whispers we sometimes hear are ones that I listen to myself. More than once they have brought me hope and comfort.
Well done poem, and well deserving of the bronze cup. (at least bronze)
Greg
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This is an attractive poem that has the duality of pain of loss and joy of remembrance in it. Particularly liked the image of "strands of hair..hugs" and the subtle connection between the rain and your tears. As your poem implies, nobody ever really dies until the last person who loved and remembers them is gone. So many tiny events recall them to memory and suddenly it's as if they are right there beside you again. Tony
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MABUHAY! beautifuly done...wheew it's a wow
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how beautiful m'lady
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Magnificent write. Made me stop and and Wow. So well done.
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oh wow I like this, bittersweet- it touched a chord. well done v
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Golden
Should have won gold... I love this:~but as clouds dropped their tiny bombshells
exploding on my cheeks~~
Such great imagery. I am very envious.
Joe
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Oh Yes, I sure can relate to every single word you penned here.
Very sweet yet a sad piece,
touches the heart bringing smiles and tears.
Very deserving of the spotlight.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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Beautiful
So beautiful and intense. Your poem had given me the effect of actaully being able to visualize, and that's very unique. Good job !
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dreamy like
A very nice way to give feeling to this piece and good use of metaphors, adding a very personal feel to this, very nice Image and Visions
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I can't believe that was a bronze, it should have been gold in my opinion. It is hauntingly beautiful and so very well worded with just the right amount of emotion. A lovely pleasure to read. Sheila
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thank you, sheila
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Wow. This is a beautiful piece of work. It carries very powerful emotion with it. Memories of our lost loved ones are often some of the hardest ones to get over and move on with. This is a wonderful poem and congratulations on the trophy. Great job!!
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thank you
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great write it brought tears to my eyes
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Shoulda been gold. This brought tears to my eyes. Great write. =]
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Wow...realy thanks 4 enterin such awsum pieces....best of luck 4 ur future..!!
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this is awesome
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Written with such tenderness of thought, this write draws the senses into that moment of hope held in nature's whispering voice. The sadness is nicely balanced with fond memories of a time forever lost. A worthy poem to be spotlighted... Congratulations... Alby
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A wonderful heartfelt write! Beautiful!
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Beautiful
I can understand why this has been promoted! It's beautiful. Moving!
I can feel myself standing in this moment in time, it is so real it gives me goose flesh.
I love the line about the rain, what a novel metaphor!
Wonderful
Well done
Phed
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thank you so much... i'm still trying to figure out who promoted it. i appreciate you reading this and leaving such a wonderful comment.
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Excellant!
"but as clouds dropped their tiny bombshells exploding on my cheeks, I was reminded again." This is a especially inventive way to express crying. Thank you for your lovely poem. I shall take it with me today, all day
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thank you
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Congratulations on earning a bronze in this contest and for a placement in the AP Spotlight.
There is an understanding that comes with facing mortality. This is quite nice. Well done. ~Pamela
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i didn't even know it was in spotlight. how does that happen? it was only a bronze. thank you for coming by to read and comment
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There is no such thing and "only" a bronze. Good is good. so - feel good!
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i didin't mean it in an unappreciative way, but not understanding how it got in the spotlight. thank you for the encouragement though
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Never taken as unappreciated only appreciated. Your poem was nominated to receive placement on the AP Spotlight. After review, it was accepted. AP home page will show you who nominated you.
Great job and congratulations.
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Sometimes lost memories (or memories of loss) will lead the mind astray, and we find ourselves on a path to a moment in time that does not exist, but with all our heart and dreams desire we pray that it never fade and transcend into the tangible real world, only to realize the moment is already gone, like waking from a perfect reverie.
Haunting, but enchanting write.
-cheers
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A real pleasure to read, with beautiful choice of words.
Well done!
Nela
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beautifully written poem.
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thank you
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this is beautiful .. such a stirring piece that pulls at the deepest strings of the heart. sad yes, but so tenderly pressed here against this page. wonderful writing.
~ Nicolette
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Congratulations on Your Bronze Cup!!
I love willows, and yes, I agree they do weep. This is an excellent write, it's good to see your muse's powerful words flowing like the wind in this brilliant, metaphoric poem. Keep that magic pen flowing, Poet!!
xx Cyn xx
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oh this is fantastic.
just fantastic, thank you so much.
love,
jin -
Very sad. I like the way it was written as if you were distant in thought.
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In death, I believe, we become all things...
I'm reminded of the poem...
Do not stand by my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep
etc.
wish I knew it by heart..I once did...
lovely words again
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Wow. I really enjoyed that.
You made me feel everything you were saying.
Loved it! -
wow this is so amazing it really touched my heart you put alot of emotion into this poem good job
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As a poet, I rarely say this (or at least i try not to.) But this poem has left me at a loss for words. I can only imagine the longing you felt, the bitter sweet happiness from writing about a person that is no longer with us... The poem is truly beautiful, and it is easily read even for someone like me who does not read free verse. I makes me happy to see people who can put there emotions into words such as yourself...I'm glad i found this ^^ Keep up the amazing work.
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i have been exactly where this write is. thank you for sharing this with me today. i know the courage it took to write it. viyanna rosemarie
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thank you
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GREAT!! =-DS
Some wonderful imagery!!
The wind moved my soul
and strands of hair whipped its hugs around my neck
and
but as clouds dropped their tiny bombshells
exploding on my cheeks,
These are fabulous lines!! Super job...:-)
A++ -
"but as clouds dropped their tiny bombshells
exploding on my cheeks"
Magic! I love that metaphor, blending sky and mood, rain and tears and explosions of emotion.
Sigh.... a touching one, my good lady poet.
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i thank you from the bottom of my heart
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I was talking to someone about how much I like the image of a weeping willow's arms. This is the fourth time I've seen it today. ... any how.. (i like returning the favor; read for read)
So, in short, it's touching. I think a lot of people can feel this and relate. But that is the beauty of this piece. Your voice is so strong that we (the audience) do feel. Thanks for the great read! -
this poem is beautifully haunting ... not much else needs to be said. you have masterfully created another great piece of poetry. i predict you do well in this contest.
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thank you, matt. you are a man of few words and what you say always has meaning to me. thank you
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This brought tears to my eyes. I lost my identical twin sister on 5/4/07.
Sometimes, I feel her near me, but I can't hold her. A beautiful poem.
Mariana
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oh, mariana, i am so sorry. that has to be even harder, giving more of that feeling of their presence. thank you for reading and sharing that
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A very sad and moving peice. Feels like it came from your very depths, so real. Well written. Pulls the readers along by their heart strings.
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it did come fomr my depths. thank you
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so powereful
and so sad..you wrote this beautifully but it is indeed a bittersweet piece..
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So sad this is. It dove straight into the nucleus of my heart, and darn near sliced it.So good this is
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"deep weeping".... what a subtle touch there. Great kiss of rhyme, just a splash. Those bombshells are cool, and the overall tone of woe is palpable: 1 : capable of being touched or felt (from webster's, just to make sure I'm 100% understood in the shade I intended)
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as i told you before, your comments carry alot of weight to me. thank you, white
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I've had two people extremely close to me pass in the last two years. To turn and catch glimpses..a breeze against your arm.. or sometimes just a feeling will ease my pain sometimes even though the longing is still there in our hearts. I loved the relationship you've given between the weeping willow and the pain we feel at a loss. I also love the beauty you put in your words even when your topic breaks our hearts.
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i saw the prompt and instantly knew i had to write what it meant to me. thank you for seeing deeper into this as well.
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This is beautiful. I don't know who you had in mind when you wrote it (if anyone) but it took me straight to my mom. I have felt her with me many, many times...all the while telling myself she isn't there, but the feel of her being so strong. Superbly written, Sweets...this made me weep.
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thank you so much, amy
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I wish you the best in the contest, you really knocked the prompt out of the ballpark.
luv ya lots,
Suzi
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thank you so much. i will look at that, i actually thought the rhyme might make it a little catchy at the end, but i didn't think of leaving that as the only thing that would linger... good point there. i'll look into other simpler words that have the meaning im trying to portray and weeping needs to stay for the whole willow image to come to fruition.
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That was profoundly sad. Eloquently written as well. Your works are always so pretty...even if they are sad sometimes.
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Very deep and sad, I liked it alot, especially lines 8-12. This gave me a feeling I cant explain. much luck in the contest
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Sigh, so sad but beautiful all the same. You capture so much emotion You caught me with this one. Best to you in the contest
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thank you the prompt just made a flood of emotions come to me... and i felt compelled to write. i always appreciate you reading my work. thank you.
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Ohhh, so sad The final stanza is rather cutting. I thought it was a loved one who away for a short while but no alas. I think you'll do well in this comp hun. Best of luck
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thank you, heath... i like reading how everyone interprets it. it was from my heart.
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i really felt this one like it was your grandad maybe well if not it was beautiful anyway and no pouting pics please we love your smile . xo
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I mean... this just works...
its great
I have had a terrible night and feel a bit shit today - and a bit heartbroken. and its from a night of falling out and horrible words and somehow this poems works well with me this morning.
well done.
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im so sorry... sometimes reading something sad helps... weird how that works. im glad it did that for you, but im sorry that it is because you are feeling a bit shitty.
thanks, emma
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Superb poetry, sweets; beautifully bittersweet, awesome take on the prompt, excellent job at depicting that moment in time.
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you got the first comment
thank you so much, vito
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Honered to be the first Your poetry is adorable and so are you
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and even though the willows have wept, you always make me smile...
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Yeah, smiling is good. You always have a big smile in your pics... I once taught the wipping willow how to cry, but I'm smiling now and will keep on smiling, come what may
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well.. maybe i need to get a pouty picture up there... just so people know im not ALWAYS smiling... oh, wait... i almost always am.
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Put up a sexy pout, such as models do
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