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always there

him: you still there?
me:yeah


I'll always be there
because I love you
when we are apart:
I miss you.
when we are together:
I want more of you.

So I guess what I'm trying to say
is...
I will always
feel the same way.

Be honest!

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • ยง

    I love the flow, clicking on it, I was curious because the preview shows "Him:you still there" "me: yeah" but it turned out lovely! Thanks for your comment on my piece and thanks for writing this one

    -AJ


  • decode
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very cute and sweet dedication poem.
    short but gets the point across.

    nice job!


  • Kwalk
    July 2
    Edit | Reply
    aww i love this. it's so cute. and i know exactly how you feel.


  • Shrat
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    Aww

    This is so sweet and exactly how love should be, so innocent and thoughtfully penned. I really like the beginning. It gives a good hint at what the poem will be, and the end gave it a great sense of finality. Nice Job!

    • lol...1st time I've been called innocent :O I think the endings horrible but whtever... teeheehee... thanks for reading

  • Aw. I love this. ^.^ It's so cute. You have a good way of putting things(:

  • THIS IS GOOD! I KNOW HOW U FEEL!

  • lol i always seem to ask that

  • thepoetx69
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    I first thought this was gonna Be alil akward of a poem. But your words and raw emoition pulled this piece togethor. I felt the love you felt for someone. personally I would'nt of used the intro to this piece, it just doesnt give off a poetic impression. I love the way you use the title in the ways you say what you've ot to say. my favorite part is when we are apart:
    I miss you.
    when we are together:
    I want more of you though I reiterate that my least fav is the intro... all in all a great piece, especially for a woman of your age...

  • this is really good but it could be longer! luv it as always!

    ~Divine~

1 - 18 of 18