Holding me d
o
w
n
just below the surface
[suffocating] me
d.r.o.w.n.i.n.g me
things go
-dark-
im lost
cant you see me?
cant you hear me?
-c-r-y-i-n-g- out for you
s
c
r
e
a
m
i
n
g
out your name
find me,
guide me,
im already f
a
l
l
i
n
g
stand there,
watch me,
descend into
-darkness-
help me?
save me?
is such a thing possible?
or is it to [late]
i beg you
/please/
.w.a.k.e. me up
and save me from
-myself-
before its to (late.)
Author notes
About You
AP Name: b r o k e n h e a r t e d c h i l d
Nickname: Zee
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Appearance: just under 6 foot without shoes, blonde hair, blue eyes
Personailty: Happy-go-lucky, stubbon, adventureous, out going,
Position You Want In My Family: Sister
An Interesting Fact About You: I played football (tackle with the boys) til I was 12 and 1/2...ya was a bit of a tomboy!
Favorites
Favorite Color: Red and Black together
Favorite Saying: I didn't build a wall to block people out...but to see who loved me enough to climb over and find me!!!
Favorite Piece of Clothing: My jeans
Favorite Author: Too many to list.
Favorite Band: FOB, Gym Class Heros, All American Rejects, Eyes Set to Kill, RJA, Panic @ the D!sco...stuff like that
Favorite Song: Too many to name!!
About Your Poetry
Usual Genres: Sad, depressing themes stuff like that...check my stuff out!
Usual Form: A mixture
Usual Length: A mixture
A contest entry
- I want an AP family! by KelsiEvermore.
700 points, ended July 1, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Ami.
550 points, ended July 12, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme,Lyrics, Prose, Dirty Pretty. by Antebellum.
800 points, ended September 24, 290 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty by AbidoodleCullen.
400 points, ended August 29, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive criticism please and thank you
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I really like the "Falling" part.
-
I like it (:
Thanks for entering and good luck!
~Abi
-
wow.
this is amazing. I love dirty pretty's, but most of the time they're overdone. this one wasn't
excellent.
thanks for entering. -
No
-
I don't think tampering with the format is going to change the words.
I am going to say no, sorry. -
yes.
-
Wow This is the best dirty pretty I have ever read I normally don't let it in my contest but this was amazing and I love how it was written
Thank you so much for entering my contest
And good luck!
-♥Amy♥ -
-
Thanks it is the only dirty pretty I have ever written because I know lots of people don't like it and I didn;t want to make something crap
-
-
I love the poem.
My favorite part:
i beg you
/please/
.w.a.k.e. me up
and save me from
-myself-
before its to (late.)
Thanks for entering, and good luck!
Adding your comment:
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