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Falling

Holding me d
                  o
                  w
                  n
just below the surface
[suffocating] me
d.r.o.w.n.i.n.g me
things go
            -dark-
im lost
cant you see me?
cant you hear me?
-c-r-y-i-n-g- out for you
s
c
r
e
a
m
i
n
g
out your name
find me,
            guide me,
im already f
                    a
                l
                    l
                i
                    n
                g
stand there,
                  watch me,
descend into
                  -darkness-
help me?
save me?
is such a thing possible?
or is it to [late]
i beg you
            /please/
.w.a.k.e. me up
and save me from
                          -myself-
before its to (late.)

Author notes

About You
AP Name: b r o k e n h e a r t e d c h i l d
Nickname: Zee
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Appearance: just under 6 foot without shoes, blonde hair, blue eyes
Personailty: Happy-go-lucky, stubbon, adventureous, out going,
Position You Want In My Family: Sister

An Interesting Fact About You: I played football (tackle with the boys) til I was 12 and 1/2...ya was a bit of a tomboy!

Favorites
Favorite Color: Red and Black together
Favorite Saying: I didn't build a wall to block people out...but to see who loved me enough to climb over and find me!!!
Favorite Piece of Clothing: My jeans
Favorite Author: Too many to list.
Favorite Band: FOB, Gym Class Heros, All American Rejects, Eyes Set to Kill, RJA, Panic @ the D!sco...stuff like that
Favorite Song: Too many to name!!

About Your Poetry
Usual Genres: Sad, depressing themes stuff like that...check my stuff out!
Usual Form: A mixture
Usual Length: A mixture

A contest entry

Constructive criticism please and thank you

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • AbidoodleCullen
    August 10
    Edit | Reply
    I really like the "Falling" part.

  • AbidoodleCullen
    August 10
    Edit | Reply
    I like it (:
    Thanks for entering and good luck!
    ~Abi


  • Antebellum
    August 4

    Edit | Reply
    wow.
    this is amazing. I love dirty pretty's, but most of the time they're overdone. this one wasn't
    excellent.
    thanks for entering.

  • No


  • alaska.
    July 9
    Edit | Reply
    I don't think tampering with the format is going to change the words.

    I am going to say no, sorry.


  • dieu.
    July 8
    Edit | Reply
    yes.


  • Ami
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    Wow This is the best dirty pretty I have ever read I normally don't let it in my contest but this was amazing and I love how it was written

    Thank you so much for entering my contest
    And good luck!

    -♥Amy♥

    • Thanks it is the only dirty pretty I have ever written because I know lots of people don't like it and I didn;t want to make something crap

  • I love the poem.
    My favorite part:
    i beg you
    /please/
    .w.a.k.e. me up
    and save me from
    -myself-
    before its to (late.)



    Thanks for entering, and good luck!

1 - 9 of 9