Unås,
Ãshem,
Ãshem Ãshemu,
Great Hawk,
Eldest of the elders.
Marched forth from Saqqara,
Conquering his enemies.
Devouring their remains,
Feeding of their gods.
Unås rises.
King of the Old Kingdom,
Ruler of the fifth dynasty.
Ascending from his throne,
Becoming a higher being
Unås rises.
And as Teheser-ţep-f drives the Gods towards him,
Her-thertu binds Them unto Him.
And as Khensu, slaughterer of lords, ended them,
Shemesu cut Them up for Him.
And cooked Them in his blazing cauldrons,
Whose fires are heated by the Great One in Heaven,
And fueled by the bodies of the lesser Gods.
His Serpent Guide before him,
His soul looking upon the spirit of flame;
He consumed Them,
Eating their words of power,
Taking in their spirits.
They felt the fire of Unås in their bones,
As he feasted on their immortality.
Everlasting,
He sat with his back to Seb in the Heavens.
Took possession of the hearts of the Gods,
Bound Their wisdom unto Him.
Unås,
Sekhem,
Sekhem Sekhemu,
Lord of wisdom,
Slayer of the gods.
Unås rises.
Author notes
Unås was an egyptian king who fed on his enemies, believing it would grant him the power the body possesed.
It was said that after his death he started to feed on the Gods, thus becoming immortal and everlasting. He then returned to earth in his eartly form, but also stayed in the heavens with his celestial body, essentially living a double life.
Never stopping, he became so powerful he sailed with Ra in the sacred solar boat and he could judge himself in death, rather than being judged.
The translated text from his pyramid (see picture) served as an inspirition for this, it's quite an interesting story. Worth the long read if you ever decide to look it up.
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A contest entry
- Lets Go Historical by ScarsFade.
510 points, ended July 17, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes! by Karra-Mayy.
1600 points, ended November 21, 316 entries
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Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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da da
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love love love this.
Unås,
Sekhem,
Sekhem Sekhemu,
Lord of wisdom,
Slayer of the gods.
That is so powerful when read aloud!
However, I was looking for specific era's, which this doesn't fit, so I have to remove you, I'm afraid.
Take some applause as apology.
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My favorite part of this poem was this:
"And as Teheser-ţep-f drives the Gods towards him,
Her-thertu binds Them unto Him.
And as Khensu, slaughterer of lords, ended them,
Shemesu cut Them up for Him.
And cooked Them in his blazing cauldrons,
Whose fires are heated by the Great One in Heaven,
And fueled by the bodies of the lesser Gods."
The rest felt a little too list-like. However, it was still well-written. Basically, I believe there is room for improvement, but as it currently stands, this is great.
Oh, and keep the title. It's what initially drew me to your poem.
-Jack Rimbaud
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"It was said that after his death he started to feed on the Gods"
...what's interesting to me is that most people would find this idea repulsive and completely implausible, but Christians the world over take the Eucharist, where the bread and wine is supposedly transformed into the flesh and blood of Christ.
Thanks for bringing this piece of history/myth to light. -
reads a bit too much like a list - perhaps you could include some more verbs? Has the beginnings of a powerful story...
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Good penning... not what i am looking for in this contest but non the less a good write.
Best of luck in your contests. -
In intriguing write
Very interesting to read
and thank you for sharing with me
Best wishes Julie -
Golly! These are people and events I have never heard of before. I can only guess at the meaning of the repeated invocations in the opening and closing stanzas. Overall, the poem has the tone of a translation of something that used to be chanted at certain ancient Egyptian feast occasions, or was heiroglyphed on a monument like Cleopatra's Needle.
Good luck in the contest.
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wow this is a really intest write and the story behind it is really just incredible wow is really all i can say best of luck in the contest
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Wise-Wonderful-Profound...
Thank You for presenting this poetic historical piece. "The ascension of Unås" sounds very similar in rhythm and voice with the Sumerian ones on their historic earth-heaven poems.
In respect and admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
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Wow - wonderful imagery!!
Great work, Poet!! Ditto on what Indiviuality had to say, below... I think this poem is very enlightening (as well as entertaining). All I could think of while reading it was - what a twisted ritual - eating the flesh of both man and gods, the entities who are so revered in the highest way, as to obtain magical powers... very surreal... yet you have portrayed them in a very entertaining and readable format. Thank you for taking the time to interpret this work for all of us. I'm wishing you all the best of luck in the contest!! 
Peace,
Cyn
xx
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And as Teheser-ţep-f drives the Gods towards him,
Her-thertu binds Them unto Him.
And as Khensu, slaughterer of lords, ended them,
Shemesu cut Them up for Him.
And cooked Them in his blazing cauldrons,
Whose fire are heated by the Great One in Heaven,
And fueled by the bodies of the lesser Gods.
As I read this I felt like I was reading a psalm, especially psalm 18. A very powerful right. A person could read this and cling to each word as if a mantra or a prayer. Great piece!!
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So interesting. I enjoy the historical aspect og this. This a gorgeous poem You should be so proud.Wonderfull wording. You put your heart int
this. I can tell. Fantastic
John -
a good poem, i was just thinking of feasting on some gods then, well not exactly gods, more like dumplings lol but i am so lazy i am debating to make them or not! cloud-gods. but yeah, anyway, i like the scenes here, the egyptian realms.
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Fabulous!!
The history is GREAT and the writing is TERRIFIC!! I LOVE history, and you did a wonderful job making history sound interesting and beautiful....=-D
A++ -
TOTALLY LOVED IT.....wow i love how you took this such a different direction, i liked learning about some Unas...i am glad to get new knowledge everyday. This was a wonderful write keep up the amazing work and good luck....much <3....scars.
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well written, and interesting write here, fairly different from what i usually read and i loved it..:]
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wow you can really feel the history coming through in your poem, i loved the line
"Conquering his enemies.
Devouring their remains,
Feeding of their gods.
Unås rises."
i really conjures up some images
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fascinating myth - I think your title is spelled wrongly
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You're right, fixed it. Thanks for the heads up!
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Great job.
I love ancient history and mythology.
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Wow. you are so talented. Your wording, so exquisite , so compelling. Good for you. You nailed this. I loved it. Simply wonderfull. I amjealous of your ability. Give me more.
John
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