a hapless shell
with a helpless streak,
I pinch you
- wake up, wake up
I am so small in my nightmare
the garden a galaxy
starred with its camouflaged songs –
brass bands of beak,
ants moving restless
like waterfall orchestras,
violin crickets
rubbing their wings for love
and ghouls
the silent things
listening, sniffing
I simply can’t hold back:
I breathe
and a thunderous drum roll
announces my fear –
the choir of nature disturbed
falls, like the pounce and the prey,
suddenly still
sweat running sharp
I flee from this knuckled and panicking dream
as the sound of the garden erupts
and hunger comes galloping after my soul
gaining
the signposts of sleep are all blank
and I fracture
lost at the junction of
carouselled silence and sound
I pinch you for aid
- wake up, wake up
but you settle and, snoring,
ignore the dark nature of night, the maze
A contest entry
- Reserve a Number and wait.... by Cannonsfire.
3500 points, ended July 14, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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'and you sleep with a dream of direction' - ominous response to the prompt, an enthralling read for me; the images you used are strong and potent. Good work.
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wow
this is amazing its scary but wonderous and invisioning and absolutely magnificant!!!
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Ahhhhhhhhh!!! this is scary, in a subtle way, which make it even scarier..my fav lines: 13-16. Wonderful write. Good luck to you in the contest
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thank you for sharing this one with us. Again, very well done.
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Yup... pretty nightmarish scenario. My nightmares are jacked, giant housecats getting eaten by carnivorous dinosaurs and such. So yeah, good write. I would have liked more tension to build up the sense of horror, though.
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Oh sooo good a write. You have penned a wonderful poem.
I pinch you
-wake up, wake up
I am so small in my nightmare
the garden a galaxy
ants moving restless
like waterfall orchestras,
I simply can't hold back:
I breathe
and a thunderous drum roll
announces my fear-
I liked it all, well done poet.
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Almost lost in a void somewhere and there is no way out, perhaps a dream or perhaps your life, I really enjoyed the thoughts here
C
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"the signposts of sleep are all blank
and I fracture
lost at the junction of
carouselled silence and sound"
this was my favorite part. This is a great piece
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hapless/helpless...g. like that
love this second bit! a waterfall of ants, far out. this description is as creepy as it is fascinating. and then the silent things listening, major shudder. what a strange, scary dream...you breathe and they are onto you, chasing you awake...groovy! horrifying!
and I fracture...spectacular line/way of describing it. half-dream, half-conscious, the echo still ringing in your ears. and then stuck, alone.
fantastic, gripping description of a nightmare. it imprints so well I can imagine myself having this nightmare later.
great writing, and best of luck in the contest
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I fancy it quite a bit...
seems shadowy.
dreamland...were noone can save you
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I like it, can't explain cause mim lacking too much sleep, but the words paint a ghastly, bleak image in my minds eye.
-cheers
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and you sleep with a dream of direction
30 was taken so you get 29
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