Confessions And Identities :Part 1: *FIXED*

Jake Sender

    One night stands were Jake’s survival. He hasn't had sex with a girl since the fatal car accident that ended his girlfriend's life.
She was only 19. Hardly an adult, a crackhead, smoking until total intoxication of the body. She always looked like shit. And when she drank, she looked like drunk shit. She and Jake, decided to take an adventure in the Range Rover. They searched the car for drugs, already coked out of their minds. Nothing prevailed from their investigation. Lauren, was her name, decided to get the keys from Jake's pocket and ignite the engine with the key of wonders. They were on a dark road for a while when Lauren decided it would be fun to take a more scenic route. She turned abruptly, dashing into the woods. Jake tumbled around in the back of the car as Lauren raced through a forest of greenery, she had left the road long ago, looking to find some drugs somewhere amongst the trees. Ahead was a tree, one that if able to talk would say, "Stop, I will kill you if you hit me in that Range Rover." Lauren just continued, slowly descending the forest paths, laughing at herself and the noises Jake was making in the back, pretending he was a dog, howling in the orange moonlight.
    The crash was sudden, and so was her death. This one branch on the tree, shattered through the windshield, and straight through her head like she was paper, but no one cut out a snowflake. Her head was torn in half. Jake was quite close to the branch, and it grazed his left cheek, cutting away at the flesh of his face. He couldn't feel the pain, he was so high and drunk and out of his mind at the time. All he saw was the two pieces of Lauren's head, that had fallen in between the driver and passenger's seat. He called out her name in confusion, "Lauren. Are you okay?" He spoke to the right side of her head that lay at his feet. After no reply, he turned to her other half. A long pause, and he began to freak out. Half freaking, half hallucinating, swearing he saw a purple donkey in the distance, staring at him.
He exited the car, and began to run towards the mirage of this animal. As he came within inches of the donkey, he fell to the ground, unconscious. Wonderful thing drugs...they are wonderful for your sense of reality.

    He was out for two days and two nights, awakening in a hospital bed with his mother sitting to his left. His face was wrapped in some sort of bandage. He was merely blind except for two holes for eyes and a small breathing hole. His mother wasn't crying. She wasn't one to do so. Always emotionless, so nice of her, not to cry when your son is found in a forest with his girlfriend in a car nearby, severed in two pieces.
    Jake looked around, realizing where he was. "What happened? Wh...where...am I?" He couldn't speak well with the head cast suffocating his breathing patterns.
"You're in a hospital Jake. You were found in a park, about a day ago. Your girlfriend is dead, a tree split her in half. It was a gruesome sight but I'm glad she's gone now. She got on my nerves," said his mother, cold and quiet. This was no doubt one of the most fucked up families in the world's existence.
After hearing what had been said, Jake found himself crying his eyes dry, until he was physically unable to shed another tear. Then he made sobbing noises and looked at his mom with hurt eyes.
Still emotionless, his mother stood up and walked out of the room and to her car so she could smoke her Marlboro cigarette. She smokes many times a day, up to two packs a day. The nicotine has made his mom’s voice raspy and unattractive.

*  *  *  *  *


    It had been four months since Jake's loss. He always knew he was bisexual, but unable to get over the pain, he chooses to sleep with countless drop-dead stupid men. He has had insomnia since his mother gave him the startling news. His psychiatrist says it doesn't show signs of stopping anytime soon. So instead of trying to sleep, he fucks.
    Jake loves loud music. Music that drowns the madness out of Pleasantville NY, and puts the pleasant back in it, if it’s only a facade of happiness. He has a job, but not paid by the government, he thinks of himself as an escort, but for the purpose of this book, we’ll call him a prostitute. He figures if he’s gonna fuck, he’s gonna get paid for it.
    He has rules, just like all male prostitutes. One is always use a condom. No matter how many drug intake, Jake makes sure to be at least a little safe. His age limit is 18-40.
    As far as price, he has a chart which he made himself which consists as such:

1. $25 for handjob/blowjob.
2. $50 for full body massage.
3. $50 for strip shows.
4. $75 for rimming/fingering.
5. $100 for fucking.
6. $150 for the boyfriend experience.
7. $200 for everything.

    He has lots of clients, but they go into two categories. The older and the younger. In the older category, there are fat, stereotypical business men who have wives and just want something more exquisite, like gay sex... Usually in their early thirties, this category brings in the most dough. Jake doesn’t care how they look or what their personal lives are like, he just wants to fuck. He doesn’t have a preference when it comes to size, of the man or the man’s endowment. He usually gets the $200 deal from this group.
    The young category falls in the 18-25 group which are young adults looking to get freaky for the first time. Usually, his biggest sexual favor in this category is a strip show, usually for a last minute birthday gift. He has a few regulars, who save up their work checks for a little “up,” in their lives every once in a while.
    He has one client who he sees every week, Wednesday nights. Jake is quite fond of this man. His name is Keller. He’s a first name only type of person, which is how Jake rolls anyway. Keller is 24, old at heart, and has a sheer love of independent films.
    He and Keller do the boyfriend experience. This has little to no sex to it. Jake and Keller meet, usually at the theatre or a restaurant for dinner. The most he has done sexually with Keller is a kiss or hug, and an occasional make out session. Jake thinks of it as business, Keller thinks of it as the real thing, that he pays for.
    Jake does his business as a professional, and when he goes home, all he feels is pain, and the realization that the pain will never truly go away.