This old tree,
has become an albatross.
With its ancient bark
and stout shoots…
Spots like moles, on gray skin,
prod her sturdy trunk,
with past wounds of fallen limbs.
I never saw myself like this,
till now!
When this tired tree, must
come down.
still-
it will have worth,
at 195 a cord…
‘not I’
yet-
we will become … the same ash
Author notes
Worth
edits 3
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Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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nice i envy your writes...good luck
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ohhhh!!! def. profound! love where you are taking this. very deep...very thoughtful...and such beautiful words..love the flow of this too..just the right pause and dash and "..." in between....wonderful work...best of luck in the contest
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Superior writing! There is so much poetry in trees - and you have created something wonderful from the inspiration they provide.
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Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust! This is as profound as it gets! Entire poem a brilliant metaphor. Suggestion. First line you have inserted a semi colon. It signifies "and". I might omit that particular punctuation and let the sentence read as a whole. Boy do I wish I could write intense verse as well as you!
Meleesa
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hi bumps...yes I agree with you on the semi...thanks for the imput...
your long poems are better than my shorties
thanks for dropping in
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you're words are priceless though.
I liked this one very, very much. Brilliant.
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thanks Kathy..means alot to me
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nice
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you need a bigger vocabulary sweetie
no stars no points
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i know u r fishing for a comment...
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sad but beautiful
You have expressed such profound emotions in this poem.
I love the metaphor of the old tree and the dying poet. I can relate to your words so well.
The last line is priceless.
Good luck in this contest!
Jeannette
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you're priceless
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Worth
fate, but with purpose
a bright side Thank God
Mal,wow to you
the ending love the most
this we should retain and realize
the same ash
God bless Mal
wow!
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bless you doll
thanks for commenting
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A very profound metaphor;
but your words (and deeds) can outlast you
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I think the tree will live longer
though its been home for much of nature's little creatures
I have only words
thanks doll
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omen like thoughts, I can see this in my mind,as we all grow older,many body changes like mother natures in creating her new life each season... good luck in the contest
Linda
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thanks for dropping in linda
hugs for you
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an interesting point of view on a widely debated subject...fresh and witty. i like your charm. keep up the great work. peace and light, kp
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thanks for reading and commenting kep
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