talions exist in charcoal colored tint
offensive intruder scribbles against my heart
rusted fodder, this wherewithal of lesser than
tempers taken to highest heights after three score and more
united yet separate, traced over in pencil shavings
roused to recognize grayish veneer from strands of time
eventually death will resolve fading war paint
destiny may sooner than that flake this peeling varnish
black and white voids meld to transparent and
yearn to play in stenciled rainbow hues
lacquer drips in slow motion from evoked spirit
only to clog the drain of our falsely engraved truth
neutrally oiled shadows dye pretense to darkest shade
emptying led-based chips on to love's slippery floor
laden and sorrow-filled stride keeps faint step
inch by crippled inch along loathsome way
nourishment starved by melancholy mouthfuls
every time his face relays expressionless smile
seclusion comes home today to rent our sacred space
splendid isolation has become my permanent shellac
Author notes
PROMPT - 3. distance is a color
FORM - Acrostic
Art Credit: "Tears" By lugarcia_2007
A contest entry
- Reserve a Number and wait.... by Cannonsfire.
3500 points, ended July 14, 2009, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critical comments please. THANKS!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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A wonderfully written acrostic. The feeling of sadness and loneliness is palpable.
A great read
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A painting filled with sorrow for the loss of what was once and what could possibly still be the one great love.
I feel this is written by a woman who has love on her mind and is not seeing the fruits of giving for so long.
It is reality that hits home like the Revolutionay Road I suppose.
Perhaps I am out in left field with this of course and it truly is just a melancholic piece of art that is hanging on a ill visited wall.
In all cases,
I like it, I like it so!
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WOW Hey that is amazing such a stunning poem. It really captures the eye. You have poured your very soul into this I feel/ I love the vocab in this as well no mundane words at all. That is a hard thing to pull of right. You have made it very beautiful though nice rhythm as well. I am fasinated by the style of this what is it? Or is it just written? Seems formed some how.... Great job and I hope you do well in that contest
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A good acrostic is one you don't notice and i didn't notice it until i read the AN's Well done
C
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'distance is a color' good luck
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