Beautiful white innocent Egyptian bride,
Don't fall prey to barbarian Hittite pride!
For certain you are not all that stupid
Would you say it is all the fault of Cupid,
Who is specialized in fusing hearts,
Always aiming at hearts with his darts.
I see you both born under the bright sun,
Both of you, together, can have a lot of fun,
But, Beware of The egotism and pride of lions,
building anti-love seclusion walls and bastions,
When mingled with the ox vain stubbornness.
Obstinacy is nothing but sheer imprudence boundless,
Adoring him you inaugurated him your beloved sultan.
You believed he loved you, but is he a Good Samaritan?
Many a time without you he made his life plans.
You dressed his strategies in fantastic royal kaftans.
But maybe with you he only wanted just a dance,
Or perhaps he did not consider you a good chance.
Beautiful white innocent Egyptian bride,
Are you confident he ever loved you or was it solely his pride?
Author notes
GURUR VE ÖN YARGI
In Collaboration with Dr. Oguz Soysal who inspired me and wrote the first two lines
"it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife"
from the book Pride and Prejudice"
From the book Pride and Prejudice
A contest entry
- For the Broken Hearted or those that love someone that doesn't love back by Maili Knephthan.
1000 points, ended July 1, 43 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥Prose&Freeverse♥ by Antebellum.
650 points, ended July 5, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love- right here, right now by MaddCuppyCake.
400 points, ended July 17, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Excellent Writing
Congratulations on the Silver Trophy
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nicely done. i like the contradicting ?'s in this
good luck -
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Thank you for your interest and comment
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ouch touching... there surely are such people who don't care about others like this sultan in your poem.... the metaphors are stunning
the staring lines are just so capturing
great write
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Absolutely Stunning
What a magnificent write this is and with such eloquent words and metaphors -
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Oh My God, Thank you so much for your wonderful words. YOU MADE MY DAY :) THANK YOU
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TOUCHING!!!!!
Oh how one can be mislead so easily!
A broken heart mends slowly. 
's
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thank you my dear Kevin
yeees very true, and it takes a long time if one really is broken on the inside, while with some nothing happens Thank you my friend for your support
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This was very close to the truth an dgood wordage. I think you did a good job you and your collaborator
"Are you confident he ever loved you or was it solely his pride?"
This really hit home. It is what I am being told over and over again. Thank you for sharing. -
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Dear I thank you so much for the silver trophy and the honorary mention, they mean a looot to me, thank you so much
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thank you for reading it and commenting
and that truth suddenly hit me when the first two lines were told to me, but with a twist I exchanged the original from pirate to pride that was more convenient.
thank you -
and thank you for commenting and understanding
that is also hitting me hard and now I am thinking of it. sometimes things are there and you do not fully understand words till a certain word comes up and bang you wake up!
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This is excellent, superb, how apt the first two lines are, overall very well executed...
babby
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Babyyyy thank you for being there and encouraging me
thank you my dear, well the first two lines are not mine really, they are Oguz Soysal's but I made a slight change instead of the last word as pirate I substituted it with pride as this is more of the meaning meant here I guess or what I like to add, so basically that was his idea but the development I took from here and thank you so much dear for being so supportive
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It looks like you've been reading ancient history! "I see you both born under the bright sun". I think this line is beautiful! This is a fascinating subject for a poem! "Beware of the egotism and pride of lions". another wonderful line!
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okay
I don't know... the idea is interesting... but the rhythm and rhyme seem forced in places:
For certain you are not all that stupid
Would you say it is all the fault of Cupid,
I see you both born under the bright sun,
Both of you, together, can have a lot of fun,
The rhythm of the piece just seems crammed in there... could maybe economize a bit with all the words you got in there.
I got a feeling that you are looking to write with satire... but it doesn't come through as much as it could.
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tHANK YOU DEAR FOR PASSING BY AND TAKING THE TIME AND EFFORT TO COMMENT
and comment objectively and constructively
As I mentioned it is persona, so the mention of Hittite is by the other party who is of Hittite origin, so we are speaking in the ancient times mingled with the present one.
talking about cupid and stupid was from a conversation so the mention here were absolutely meant. as for the lion and sun part, both characters are leos so they are born under the sun and the ox here is the God or king Oguz and that is the name of the one who give me inspiration and whose collab with the first two lines I mentioned here. The ox had religious symbolism with the sun too in Hittite times. What I meant here is if one let go of certain vain pride in matters of love then blindness would go away and one would be more attentive to the needs of the other part, and I am speaking of both characters and to them
I never meant to be sarcastic at all or write with satire as in this matter as it is personal and cause to pain I could not have been more serious.
In other pieces I was really satirical but that is personal.
Thank you for commenting my dear. I really appreciate it.
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Nice
I see you've managed to workout your uneasiness with this piece, i think it turned out wonderful..great job my friend..
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did you honestly like it ?
thanks dear, you make me feel at ease
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Stunning
I loved everything,especially cupid and his medlling nd darts.lol.
Je t'embrasses,et cette pièce est magnifique!
Bisoux.
S.
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