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what once was.

love is beauty
love is pain
love is tears
upon your face
love is gentle
love is kind
love is this life
left behind

Author notes

it's short, and incomplete, I am still working on in, but this is what I have for now. Comments/ suggestions greatly appreciated :]

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Little Anguish

    There is something screaming
    The sadness bleeds on thru
    I hope its only dreaming
    And the reason is not you

  • It's a great beginning, and the rhyme is good, but I agree with the comment below.
    A great beginning none the less
    Thanks for entering and best of luck
    xoxo.

  • ricachic gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply

    nice start

    4th line "upon your face" change to "falling like rain" now becomes meter and rhyme for two like stanzas. Beautiful either way, like to see it finished :]
    love is passion
    love is bold
    love is something
    you can hold...

    this has great potential for much more, have fun with it!
    Rick


  • fatizeh
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    theres nothing to critisize about dis cuz this is da best piece ive ever read..really..it shows sadness..n emotions unexplained so deeply..bravo

  • amazing and simple but massive impact


  • Junkyard
    July 13
    Edit | Reply
    lovely poem..you say it so well..love is so many different things...great write

  • I really like it so far, i especialy like the first two lines.


  • Vickie Rosa
    June 30

    Edit | Reply

    Great piece

    A bautiful job, to the point with not much said. I love the first four lines it flowed beautifuly. Many blessings to you.

1 - 8 of 8