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in wonderland

I know you love to hurt me.
"It's how it's supposed to be".
Take my heart, pull it down.
Bury me beneath the ground.

Drowning in my souls cries,
Falling down- soul suicide.
Take that last breath.
(All I have left)
Take that last breath...
(But, leave me in my mind.)

Pass into your wonderland...
I scream. You take my hand,
"hush now, hush, my little one.
Come now, come, we'll have some fun".

Drowning in my souls cries,
Falling down- soul suicide.
Take that last breath.
(All I have left)
Take that last breath...
(But, leave me in my mind.)

Please God, please, let me die
bring me my soul suicide.
please...
don't leave me now.

No senses, in the now and gone.
You're still proud of what you've done.
No piercing through cimmerian.
Me and my world forever one

Drowning in my souls cries,
Falling down- soul suicide.
Take that last breath.
(All I have left)
Take that last breath...
(But, leave me in my mind.)

Author notes

okay, so alice in wonderland was my inspiration for this...
It isn't exactly the same story line... but hell, whatever.

http://plumbdamaged.deviantart.com/art/in-wonderland-135260751

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • BrokenHeartsInVain
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, WOW. When I saw the tittle, I was just expecting the usual type of poem that people enter. But when I read it.. GOD WOW. That would be an awesome song, and a quick question, is it? It seems like you have a chorus and the whole structure of a song as well.

    Great write, thank you for entering, and best of luck. ♥