the Explorer’s running well
the ten-year-old you left to me
upon death, it groans when I
make the turn into your
weed-infested driveway
and I wonder if you still sit beside me
giving lectures on parallel parking
Author notes
Dad.
1962 - 2008.
In a list
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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So much said with so little. I love writes like that! Judging from this, you do it well. Reminds me of my dad...
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this was perfect. filled with such strong emotion, yet with so little words. perfect length. i loved it. keep up the good work!
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Very deep and thought-provoking. I loved reading it.
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powerful impact
your condensing leaves only raw emotion and heartfelt nostalgia. Beautifully expressed.
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wow, this is a amazing! you made me sad and have a little chuckle there too.
great write,
im so sorry for your loss :/ -
Awww....that makes me wanna cry... Great poem tho
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Lovely write
the perfect length too
Dont change it
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aw, this is sweet. personally i think its a good length, that this is one that should stay short.
"the Explorer’s running well(comma)
the ten-year-old you left to me
upon death, it groans when I
make the turn into your
weed-infested driveway(period)
and I wonder if you still sit beside me
giving lectures on parallel parking(period)"
I really do love this, its sad but it really does sound sweet.
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Thank you.
The lack of punctuation was intentional; not to be a jerk, but please do not post the entire poem in your comments. I don't know if you do it all the time, but just don't unless it's very short (shorter than this...say, only a few lines). It looks like you're spamming/trying to get points.
But again, thanks.
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Oh, this is a fabulous write. ( I'm sorry about your loss... hugs) Often times when we see dedications to those that have departed we see either spiritual or quite depressing writes, but you have thought outside the box and for that I commend you. This has got to be one of the better dedication writes I have seen in a very long time to honor the passing of a loved one. It highlights moments shared and yet shows that the loved one is not forgotten without all the drama involved in what is typical of most dedications. Granted one is generally grieving and I get that, but what we typically forget when we write such writes is that the reader is not grieving. You did not forget that... you wrote a piece that everyone can read from beginning to end and do so without dragging them into your abyss while doing so. Excellent write dear. Just simply outstanding! Again, I am very sorry for the loss of your father.
Hugs,
Suzi
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raw.raw.raw.
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nothing to criticize
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Oh my goodness, I haven't read something this brilliant in so long. Just spectacular, the title caught my eye and now I'm very glad I read it. Thank you for sharing & I'm sorry about your dad.
x
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Intense... magnificent, actually. One of the best I've ever read, to be perfectly honest.
The metaphor was perfectly penned. Really.
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There's no metaphor.
Thank you, though.
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...if only.
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Wow. Wow. This is intense. You did a fantastic job with this. It was beautiful and chilling, which is the second time I've said that about a poem of yours...ahem. Anyway. Amazing write. Those last two lines brought it together well. I'm sorry for your loss.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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The second time I read it I got it. Its really sad, the "Explorer" was the kind of car,that was your fathers, and it's groans reflect yours(?) returning to your old home or where your father (died?) and thats when in real life the thought at the end of your poem popped in your head and got the idea for the poem? Its good at bringing a sudden mood change.
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The memories can be assuring at times huh? I'm sorry you lost your dad. I lost mine too. I loved him so and at times i can feel that he is there with me doing things we use to do. You did a good job with the poem portraying that too. Keep penning.
Jade
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ah I'M SORRY, i get it now, im tired
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this is a strange one i like it, but i cant put my finger on the metahor, if there is one that is ? but i really liked this take care
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Great
Old cars and memories of learning to drive,feeling as if your dad is still sitting there waiting to put his foot on the brake. Great memorie.
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This is a very well written poem. A lovely dedication for your dad. Remember they are still with us, even when they are gone.
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There's a lot to this one for it's short length. Great emotion, and good job describing the "phantom limb" sensation after losing someone close to you. Quite poignant and wonderfully written.
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Wonderful
This is indeed a very nice poem, and asks the question we all ask of those that have passed away, "Are they still around us?"
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This is really good! I like the raw emotion and how you wrote this. It's great to write about memories like this. This is a great poem and I am very sorry about your father's passing!
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amazing poem
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beautifully written
its wonderful that you have memories to make a poem like this. -
What a beautiful memory to portray in those final two lines, it made me think of my grandfather who taught me to drive. Superb word choice in this little piece of fine brevity. Best to you fine poet
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This is one of the better pieces that I've read today.
i've also lost my dad and have those thoughts of what he would be saying or lecturing me about. sometimes it's something simple like picking certain things up at the grocery store. sometimes it's big. like dropping out of college.
this one was very beautiful in brevity. thank you for the read.
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Bravo. That's beautiful. makes me think of when my dad tried to teach me to drive.
Really well done. Bravo.
and for what it's worth... i'm sure he does.
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i get my permit in a week... my dad died in march so i know how you feel... good poem though
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i liked the ending lines (last four lines) a lot.
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