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In Reminds of Anum Zehra.

The girl of age twenty one
She hasn’t seen the world even.
That day, a last smiling face she had,
But her smile’s aura was freeze
By an unknown tragic death.
The sooner she knew, the soul had left
How this news would have fallen
On her parent’s aged shoulders.
Senses were out and eyes would had swollen.
The death news spread like fire in jungle
As her cousin would be crying and so, the sibling
But what happened? The fire is cold now;
Cold like death alley at her home
The voice of her will only be heard on dome.
Does not she deserve a tribute?
You may think for questions, how?
Couldn’t the mates make her reminds?
In some good words, instead of chaos,
Some even spoke, “Dikha nahi tha kya?”
Laughing and grinning like death will never come
To them, from ways of unknown
A young life was killed by an irresponsible
Did any one care? Instead of
Having some gossips and giggles?
I wish, If I could pay her a last regard
May her soul be blessed in heaven!
And May the hearts feel pain of Human
As selfishly, they do not feel the delicate ache


By A.Ghani Shahzaib
The poet of hearts and beautiful words
The one who lives in hearts!
Friend for friends

Author notes

Prompt for first picture.. Grafiti

dikkha nahi tha .. is in Urdu.. which means... Couldn't She see..
now..
Anam Zehra was a Girl from My University, she was died outside the main gate of university, by a reckless and drunk driver if water tanker.
when I heard this news, I was out of words, absolutely Shocked... bcz there were three Anam I knew.. and I could never imagine to see them in this condition..
Still She studied in the same Karachi University, where I'm studying.. I could be her.. but Death Solemnly called her first ..
and just after a month.. another girl was killed..
when a death is coming to your path? Can any body Laugh that you couldn't see the death.. but some highly educated people laughed on that girl.. I felt such an insult of humanity, Wish I could slap them.. they feel, like death will never touch them.. disgusting indeed...

http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2009\01\25\story_25-1-2009_pg12_5
http://www.interface.edu.pk/students/Jan-09/Karachi-University-world-ranking.asp
http://www.interface.edu.pk/students/Feb-09/KU-problems-PTC-exam-result.asp
http://thenews.jang.com.pk/daily_detail.asp?id=158992

A contest entry

It was a Tribute to Anam Zehra ( My University Mate )... A Soul who had no chance to say bye to her parents.. how terribly killed.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 85 of 85

  • Shantti silver member
    October 26
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautifuly penned and touching tribute.
    Leaves me speechless, but well done


  • Oleander
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    This is a truly talented writing. Thank you so much for entering my contest. You're in the finalists! This tribute is beautiful, sad, and very soulful. I can imagine and picture the scene....it fits well for the contest and I hope you enter more of my contests in the future.

    Oleander


  • Sheilasbabygal4life gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    I'm speechless. This was amazing. I liked the flow too it. I was just like WOW! Anyways. Thanks for entering and best f luck too you in the contst.


  • Yahiko
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    Yes it is very disgusting that people laugh at a young woman's life cut tragically short. I am sorry for you loss, however I am sure she would be happy to know that you wrote a poem in her memory


  • Beret55 silver member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    I think its a good write. And it is sad what some people do or say when something sad happens. No class.


  • sinfull
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    I won't edit...I think all of the needed ones have been mentioned. On that note, IMHO...the way your poem stands right now makes it seem as if English is not your second language and you are attempting to bridge the language gap in order to let your words be heard by Americans. And it works. I cannot recommend you leave the errors, but in my mind they make your poem more powerful.


  • Kodie Scarlet
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    some gramatical errors

    line 2 : She hasn't seen the world yet.
    line 4: ...aura was frozen
    line 6: Soon, she knew the soul had left.
    line 8 : senses had left and eyes had swollen
    line 9: spread like a wild fire in a dry meadow
    line 10: her cousin would be crying and so would her sibling.
    line 14: does she diserve such a tribute?
    line 15: you may think of how?


  • Midnite-Rae
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    "twenty one" twenty-one. "She hasn’t seen the world even" She hasn't even seen the world.. sounds better or you could even do "she's yet to see the world"..hm.. I like the other one better. And then maybe a period after it. "That day, a last smiling faced she had" That day, her smiling face was the last she had. In my opinion, that sounds better. And freeze should be frozen. "The sooner she knew, the soul had left" I'll have to get back to you on that line. "How this news would have fallen
    On her parent’s aged shoulders
    Senses were out and eyes would had swollen"Did the news not come out to her parents that way? Maybe..." The way this tragic news fell upon her parents( is there one parent or two?) aged shoulders. All senses were lost and eyes were red and swollen." That would be my suggestion. "The death news spread like fire in jungle" The news of her death spread like wild fire in a jungle."Her cousin would be crying and so, the sibling
    But what happened? The fire is cold now" I'll get back to you on that part. "Cold like death alley at her home" Cold like a walk through death alley.? "You may think for questions, how?
    Couldn’t the mates make her reminds?" Not sure about the first line right now. But the second one.. Couldn't the(or her works too) make(or speak.. personally I like speak better) her rememberance?
    "In some good words, instead of chaos" I would suggest taking out "some".That's all I could find in this one for one. Send me a copy of the revision..it doesnt have to be on here.. you could email it to me if you would like and I could make another revision. my email is midnite.rae@hotmail.com


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    3rd line: Faced should be face,4th line: freeze should be froze,9th line: had should be have,
    10th line, between in jungle, should be in a jungle, in this line: Couldn’t the mates make her reminds?, should be: couldn't the mates remind her, or be reminded of her, this line: I wish, If could pay her a last regard, should read: wish I could pay her a last regard

    ...These are the errors I found. The rest seems fine!

    And you don't have to worry about giving me points...I don't mind helping out!!!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    July 8

    Edit | Reply

    Bless her heart

    Such a tragedy indeed and its true this world has become cold and indifferent to others passing ot those remaining in such pain of th loss . I am sure in heaven she so felt your friendship and pain of her loss of life she saw through your eyes those who would laugh at death and in her seeing so did the Lord above for people so cold through time shall live one day the tragedy they so unhumany make fun of . Drunk drivers I have been on the opposite end of a drunk driver my first year of marriage and it took away my ability to ever have a family so yes I know too well how you feel indeed I do


  • Antebellum
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for entering
    &&
    Good luck
    [if you are placed in the finalists I will leave a better comment]


  • WednesdayJade
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good poem and a really nice tribute but I don't feel it fits in the contest as I can't see what it has to do with abuse or fear?
    x x x


  • Sharon Marie gold member
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    Sad poem indeed

     

    Sorry for your lost nevertheless who ever laughs at this cannot be very educated neither do they have any morals it is so sad when someones life is in the hands of someone playing God how horrible that must have been for you. You have my deepest
    condolance. Keep on writing your poems are beautifully penned.

    God's blessings today be upon you!
    Sharon


  • MagicSchoolbus
    July 1

    Edit | Reply

    Sad But good

    this poems is a drepressing read. But i was a well wrote poem and it makes me wanna call up my old roomates and get together so thats some kinda power.


  • individuality gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for asking me in instant message to comment in your poem, even though i was not sure who you were, and mistook you for someone else, and apologised for that in instant message. i have read your poem now.


  • JustFallingApart
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    I am so sorry for your loss, it must have been very painful to go through. I don't think I could ever understand why someone would drive drunk, it really does hurt everyone around them. If anybody laughed on that young woman, they really are not that educated. It would very much discusted me if I had witnesed that. I can relate to this too, a friend of mine recently died unecpectedly. This is a tragic but thoughtful write, nice work hope all is well


  • Lily Wolf
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    I am sorry for her in my heart
    Why can't people just payy more attention

    This is a very heartfelt sad and touching piece of work


  • DarkAngel2013
    June 30
    Edit | Reply
    My deepest sympathy... Good write, raw much needed emotion. Good job.

  • Frances
    June 30
    Edit | Reply

    Good write.......

    And very deep.........in sorrow. I feel for that girl.


  • trekkergirl
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    so sorry for the girls death. No one needs die in this way... for it is caused by poor choices from the driver who picked up a drink and still chose to drive. I grieve with the girls family and I hope the driver comes to truly understand what his choice caused.


  • BloodyxNightengale
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful write. I cannot say that I have been in the situation you are in, but however I do know the feeling of losing someone you love, as my own mother was taken from me by her own irresponsibility. I am very sorry for your loss. I hope time will heal you...and if not heal you, at least numb the pain. Thank you for sharing with us.


  • Evinde
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Your wish has been granted: people, because of your wonderful poem in tribute, do feel pain for her. This is so terrible and i hear things like this all the time and my heart aches.
    Wonderful poem.


  • guardianhost gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply

    May you find peace

    May God gather Anam in his arms and cradle her his child while she waits in heaven for one day we will all pass ...May God send the comforter to her parents and friends. Heal your broken hearts.
    Amen


  • glenn shannon silver member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful ded/trib . people are strange creatures we often hide pain or fear with humour , its a coping mechanism if their own loved one died it would not be a joke or at all funny .. police do it to remove the closeness of death but inside they laugh not coz it could well be their own one day ... sad as it is sometimes its just a way of getting thru a negitive situation . love and light to you , the girl and her family and try to forgive those who show there emotion in the poor fashion of laughter

  • Purrsanthema
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    A kind tribute!


  • JustsimplyKatiee.
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    May her soul be blessed.
    Rest In Piece. Anum Zehra.
    My hearts goes out to her family.♥


  • Mad4life
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Its so sad to know someone died and may she rest in peace. You did a good job in writing this and I believe it lets people get an ey opening to what is going on in the real world and get them out of there little box they have created. Well writen.


  • green mother rose
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    so very sad my friend.. Peace be with her soul and on her family.. Those that smile must feel that yes life shall end someday.. live in the moment..
    Not thinking of how if effects those who are soulful.. and think ahead..

    Doesnt mean they direspect the one who has crossed over.. Some humans dont love all others as they should.. They only love those that they know.

    Love,joy,and peace to you always...

    a very wonderful write.. Im sure she looks down and still smiles at all..

    blessed be

    Green Mother Rose


  • wakawaka05
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is a great write. So very moving. You did very well with this tribute. It is always sad when a young life is taken too soon. Best of luck in the contest and in your future writes
    Caity
    >Wakawaka<


  • Lilith-Eve
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    that was a very beautiful tribute, and for the people that feel no sadness about the lost of a life they have no soul.


  • xxSerendipityxx
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is a great tribute to your friend. It is very strong and filled with emotion. RIP Anam Zehra. This is such a beautiful and write and it shows how beautiful person you are!

  • ichigosama
    June 29
    Edit | Reply

    ichigosama

    that was an awesome poem and a great tribute!!!! my condolescences to that girl.


  • PurpleMemories
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for giving me the chance to read this.It's terrible to know that her life ended that way.Rest in Peace Anam
    Bravo!


  • Antipodi
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    so many young are lost to alchohol related acts and it is sad to read of this ..it is wonderful you wrote such beautiful words so her existence will live on in literature dear poet ..may many read this understand the sadness and head its warnings


    • The.poet.of.hearts
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      thanks alot for reading
      and I wish may most of the poets read it. so that message can be forward to more people


  • Katie Lazette
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Your friend sounds like a wonderful person. How kind of you to write a tribute to her. Your tribute to her will keep her alive in the minds and hearts of all who read it.


  • Dark hunter 769
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    you got my sympthany cause someone inn my town has got struck and her friend has left her there dying and later was charged with failer to render aid ccause she had no ID and she made out alive but is paralized no


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    this is very sad to read but such a sweet tribute to this girl. thank you for sharing with me today. viyanna rosemarie


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply

    R.I.P. Anum Zehra

    Very well written.
    Such a sweet tribute..May she rest in peace, and may she be looking down watching and in some form letting her loved ones know that she loves them.such a sad and tragic way to die because people tend to drive drunk.
    Excellent write!
    -Mandi


  • AngelBellerose gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    this is such a great write about
    a little soul that died .. what a heartache
    this was for her family and friends
    this tragedy so devastating ..
    thank you for sharing
    you awesome work my friend
    Hugs Angel♥


  • smiley
    June 29
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    this was a great tribute.. may she rest in peace..


  • sweet innocence
    June 29
    Edit | Reply

    R.I.P. Anum Zehra

    awww... such a sad write.WELL WRITTEN


  • abuyi
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    khuda ki merzi.. usne mauth zarya gaari chalane wale pe likhdiya..
    i hope the driver gets caught.. inalilah wah inailahi rajiuoon
    veyr sad write


  • redmoonnrizing silver member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    A really lovely tribute to Anam! She lived until it was her time to go. We never know the day or hour. Really touching!!!


  • StillLovingYou
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    oh my god! now that i looked at the websites that is so sad.....

  • StillLovingYou
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    great poem! is it true?


  • StickyNote5
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    This is really goos. I liked it.


  • Fallen-Thumper
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    for everything that comes this is amazing and every word had such emotion..such a sad and tragic story of what happened, this is a great tribute. beautiful


  • Antebellum
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is a terrible thing to have happen.

    people are idiots to laugh at something like that.

    this is a really good write.


  • XXWolfOfInsanityxX
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Awe this is heart breaking and sad. It's so full of pain and sadness.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    This is one of your best writes nephew...because is such a moving true story..I want you to win...and I think this has the potential to do so....Wishing you the best| a


    • The.poet.of.hearts
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      at tht time when i got the news, for many days, i was thinking such horribly.. thanks for wishes aapi
      love you so much


  • Blue-Rose Beauty gold member
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    Awm that's sad.

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