grateful tears
hide behind
a choked laugh
forget-me-nots sit on newly remodeled windowsill
expensive oak replace the cigarette charred maple
happy yellow cotton instead of wine-stained silk curtains
"I like the carpets."
"Our sons ordered them."
"How are you?"
"No need for the formality"
gentle arms wrap around hospital white
"You've gotten so thin"
anxious eyes on weary face dare to hope
"The family picture is being reframed,
our daughter will be coming tonight,
and your mother asks-"
"Thank you"
warm hands fold over wrinkled skin,
a forgotten smile,
"for waiting."
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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20.2 / 25
Nicely written, I like how it's conceived to the reader. One thing, whenever you have someone speak, you need to put the appropriate punctuation there. It just lets the reader know what's going on. Might want to go back and look for that.
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I.. Don't really have words for this.
I'm not a big fan of dialogue in poems- but you use it, and it works. Your actually adding something to the poem. Which is lovely.
I think this is a really touching piece.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
-Livingemptyspace -
Lovely
A thoughtful good write
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I would not change anything but Mother says* other than that I am impressed by the whole write...
excellent
Mal
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H e l l o
I like the formatting you have going on here.
Nicely done.
Mark
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thank you very much for this entry into the contest for CHANCE. i wish you well in the judging process. viyanna rosemarie
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