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locked inside herself



basement girl
exists in a dream-like state
choking on mildew and
clouds of dust

eyes a vibrant blue
against surroundings --
concrete, metal, and
a crumbling staircase
all in shades of grey

cradled by spiderwebs
she forgets what light is
or how to pry apart her
unused vocal cords and
protest the darkness







Author notes

prompt: http://mumbojumbo89.deviantart.com/art/dissapearing-act-113976124

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Polaja Greeters member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem - the beginning and the ending were perfect together it was a chilling poem - and the atmosphere was impeccable - I'm sorry I took so long to catch up on your work I was definitely missing out!


    Polly


  • Ez Writer silver member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    A superb write , splendid imagery and flow !
    My pleasure to read on this day ..
    Congratulations on your well deserved trophy !!
    Best wishes & hugs , friend Easy


  • Odds and Ends
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    "she forgets... how to protest the darkness."

    You are quite talented yourself. I love finding new people with new words. It's like discovering a new food you like to enjoy.

    Anyhow, you paint the most lovely picture--as dim as it is--. Your imagery is fantastic. Thanks for the great read!!


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    This gave me a deep emotional shiver...the way I can relate to your words is a bit uncanny!

    Blessed be...

    I loved this~

    COR

  • Sweetly Broken
    June 30
    Edit | Reply
    i like this poem it makes me think and it gives me chills! i love when poems do that! great job


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. That was amazing. I loved the imagery, as dark and brutal as is was. What a phenomenal job with the prompt given. Congratulations on your trophy!
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • EMOverlord
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    That's a really good poem, it really paints a picture in your mind of the dark, and dusty place, hiding an inner beauty. (thanks for the comment on my poem btw, I fixed the spelling errors probably while you were reading it lol)

    -- EMOverlord


  • AniLee
    June 30
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully sad.... I liked the image of blue eyes where everything else is monotone.


  • apple cores.
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    *nods head*
    mildew is a pretty word.

    I knew when I saw your name you would give me something amazing. this is brilliant, I adore where you took the prompt.


  • etoile
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    this is gorgeous.

    'choking on mildew'
    --
    mildew is a pretty word.

    I like the last stanza best, but it's all fantastic

1 - 10 of 10