your words
ring false
take out
the truth
you're left with half lies
feathered 'round fringe
blatant crazy
to laziness
in buff and blue
beyond cost
bail and degradation
when you come clean
nothing's left of you
wash and water
won't restore
colored cloth
bleached by
false witness.
A contest entry
- Prompt by AliceinPoetryLand.
1000 points, ended June 30, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Reader interpretation and critical comment welcomed
Comments
-
I Like it -except
The only suggestion is that the lines are too cryptic. I would prefer: Your words ring false,
take out the truth.
I realise you are aiming for impact but itI think it gives more if the shortest lines are at the end:
Wash and water won`t restore
colored cloth bleached by
false witness.
Just my worthless opinion. -
-
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. You make some good points
.
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Such an intense write on the prompt. Excellent indeed. Thank you for your entry\
Gaylene
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