I shall not tell...oh wait...

How were you born if not from your mother?

~I was born to my father, he has a wonderful pelvis.

Close your eyes and tell me what you see!

~I see penguins...and a duck..yup. penguins and a duck, and A guy wearing my grandmother's purse? Don't know what that's about...moving on...

If all the churches disappeared where would you spend Sundays?

~I would spend my Sundays throwing my boyfriend's mothers' shoes at her husband. She doesn't like him and frankly, neither do I.

Your first born child has just been born and it has the head of a crocodile, explain!


~I was told what happens in Vegas-stays in Vegas. Look don't judge me. He said his name was Ralph. I was drunk, I've always fancied the name. Plus he said it was paint. (I should have made the connection seeing as though we never really left the swamp). Crocodiles are people too. Dang. Get off my case.  

You have just invented a new breakfast food, unlike anything we have seen before... describe it!

~Why thank you Susan, It's called Blabberschmit. It's super yummy. It has rum and vodka, elegantly draped over pound cake with a hint of mistletoe...But wait there's more- Also A chauffeur, just in case you can not see the steering wheel. The chauffeur has a variety of cheese in his pocket T-shirt should you need to take it down a notch.


Tell me why you hate me ( remember you are telling a lie.. lay it on me).

~I hate you because every time I put on my orange shirt with my red pants.
Oh you know the one that says "Jesus believed in prostitutes". You say "Phallen that doesn't match, and you don't believe in Jesus" Don't believe in Jesus? That really ticks me off. I told you I do. That's the guy that was at the Christmas party. Right? Well he believed in those hookers and I believe in him.

Why do you lie? ( again... remember you are telling a lie so be creative)

~I honestly don't lie. I am very aware with the universe, sometimes it may appear as though I'm lying because things don't match up. Truth is If the sun sits differently or the planets align, my signals get mixed. I can read fortunes. I can read yours. It may come true. First I will need to know your history. And your diary.

You caught your neighbor sleeping with your spouse... what do you do? ( you must lie... lol)

~First I would ask "Dan, why are you having sex with Tom?" Then I would call his mother. She can't blame this one on me. They say It's genetic, or your born with it. Finally, the bitch will get whats been...Oh sorry, I was rambling wasn't I?

If one plus one equals two, why aren't all married couples having twins?

~They are silly. The other one is invisible. That's the kid who makes all the messes, breaks things, leave the fridge open. etc. Go ahead ask your kid anything he'll tell you the truth..."wasn't me"

Tell me who is the worst poet on Allpoetry and why?


~White Stone. Have you read his stuff? I mean really, who needs to read perfect things all the time. I think he's a show off. Plus I heard that he writes all his stuff wearing a bra. Thats right Susan, a bra. Poetry is very serious. You just can't go wearing whatever you want. I wear my Shakespearian Cloak every time I write and BAM! pure magic.