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cards

there's an army of clubs
using spades on the shrubs.
and still they can
find no diamonds.
and all the aces believe
they're entitled a sleeve.
but the truth is
it comes down to timing.

now, the joker believes
he's the king of thieves
as he sweet talks
the queen of denial.
but the jack has a deuce
that he puts to good use
when he closes one eye
it gets wild.

but worry not for the king?
for he's not missing a thing
he's just dawning a poker face
guess the queen should have known
that he's got a thing of his own
and he's having a fling with the ace!

what do you think??????

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Comments


  • thedarkking
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    Nice!!

  • im still up for a little texas hold-em...

    "but the jack has a deuce..."...i adore those four lines...this is conceptually brilliant...the personification is fantastic...lends crystal images in black, white and red....this reads like a card game...every line, the turn of a hand.... first, id see you, then id raise you....and then id let it ride...lol i really dig this...i love the way your mind works...beautiful, and so very creative...

  • shuks they wouldnt let me give u any clappies, lol, well you shall have them, clappy clappy clappy
    there thats better lol
    T

  • oh Mary n Joseph
    This is one of the most cleverly crafted poems I have ever ever read,
    The way each perfect little verse chugs on into the next, the way each verse connects, this is just like a delicious little jigsaw of a masterpiece

    This piece just has an umph about it, that i cant quite define, maybe coupled with the fact that though i cant play to save my life, i have a huge thing about packs of cards, and card houses, no idea why, but have had for as long as i can reacall, (i think its an alice in wonderland thing?)

    but why is this one special?, well the way you give human attributes to cards, the way, you make the game into life, and life to a game, and somehow bring all that complexity together... truthfully i dont know anyone else who could do it

    this is a complete work of creative genious, okay okay i'll stop lol
    nice write my fine poet friend
    T