You see his smile,
And your heart skips a beat.
Your family does not allow for you to love him,
But it's too late.
He takes your hand,
And tells you that he loves you.
He doesn't believe in God,
But he prays in thanks for you.
One night as you are sitting on the balcony,
You hear his sweet voice again.
He climbs up to where you are,
And asks you to run away with him.
Your family hears him,
And takes you away to your room.
You hear a scream,
And a thump on the ground.
A contest entry
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Gut?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Okay.. That was interesting.... I like the twist though.. "You hear a scream,
And a thump on the ground." It was a different twist and I like it. Good luck and keep writing! -
I found this to be lacking really. I think that this is a good start but perhaps it would be good to expand on what you have.
Thank you for your entry.
--Katie. -
Well...every thing happens at its own times...and every incident is not the last incident..sometimes it may happen that your family may invite him at home and propose...lol..it is the time which decides every thing..this is really very thoughtful juncture of the life and your poetry as well..well said..
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I liked This quick litlte poem. The summarize of juliet's tradegy. nicely written
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Humorous
I rather liked the unexpected and humorous ending. I very much liked the "he prays in thanks to you" similar to a song by Mana "Eres mi Religion". Really captures the meaning of passionate and unconditional love. Good work, nice quick read.
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