why is it light already when I just closed my eyes?
the light plays across my face and I don't know this place
birds sing bells ring but it's bloody four in the morning
I swallow and gulp.
the taste is stale cider and I sense and I sense that these,
that these can't be my teeth.
whose lips were on mine and whose scent on my skin?
my head swims and it swoons and
it’s full of lead
I whine and I tear in clawfuls at bread
I swallow and gulp.
I swallow and gulp.
my eyelids have shrunk and my eyeballs have sunk and it’s been hours now but I’m still so DRUNK
I squint at the day and I wail for the way that my sozzled mind sways and I pay
for my high-spirited binge.
move my head and shake my fringe
shake away the cloying clinging rocking rolling drinking feeling
heat and flesh and breath and
I love you I love you I love you.
I feel an arm on my arm.
there's your arm on my arm.
does the style help you to get the poem's mood?
Comments
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The style does help me to get the poem's mood.
Good use of capitals as well for the DRUNK, twas a nice touch. The last stanza is again really well judged - it seems like it should be out of place with the rest of the poem but it isn't, it's really sweet and a fitting end. I remember the days when you always struggled for last lines!
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