dear mommy,
do you know i am here?
do you know i love you?
why do you sit in that corner?
why do you cry?
do you need a hug?
i have alot of those.
i havn't ever hugged anybody.
im saving my first one for you so it will be special.
please don't cry mommy.
it hurts me.
remeber mommy im your baby and i have hugs for you.
love,
the little girl with a big teddy bear
dear daddy,
where are you?
mommy said your not here any more.
but if your not here,
where are you?
i really want a daddy.
my friend has one and he says that they are fun.
i know his daddy.
he doesnt talk.
do you talk?
i think you should come back here daddy.
mommy is sad.
she needs a big daddy hug!
that will make her happy.
you know im here daddy.
and i have a hug for you.
i've never given anybody a hug before.
please come back daddy.
love,
the little girl with a big teddy bear
dear me,
i saw mommy today...
she was smiling.
but she didnt say anything.
there was the color red on her arm.
what does that mean?
i think blood is red.
i think she got hurt.
i got her a band aid and my teddy kept her company.
my mommy hasnt moved yet.
but i know she will.
shes just tired.
i called a person and told them what happened.
a big white car came and put her in it.
they covered her up though.
i still didn't get my hug from mommy.
but i will.
a nice lady took me to her house.
she was crying just like mommy.
i didn't ask why though.
she locked me in a room.
but i have my teddy bear.
i gave him a hug.
he didn't hug back...
but sometimes hes all i got.
i found a tiny sharp thing.
it can hurt.
but mommy did it and im strong like mommy.
red stuff came from my wrist.
i died.
love,
a dead girl with a teddy bear
Author notes
the story behind the "dear mommy" section
obviously its a little girl and her mom is depressed and cries alot and so so. and she ignores her daughter.
the story behind the "dear daddy section"
he died.... thats why the mom is so sad and she didnt tell the little girl what happened (use ur imagination caz idk) and her friend is actually her teddy bear and she has more teddy bears and one is the dad of that one and thats y he doesnt talk. but she doesnt get a daddy hug 
the sad story behind the "dear me" section
the girl finds her mom dead and she didnt know she was.... and so she tried to help her mom and she called (more imagination on y) 911 and said wat happened and the ambulance came and took her mom away and the nice lady was a friend or something of the moms and she locked her up caz she thot the little girl wanted time to cope. and then the girl got her first and last hug.
tell me if its sad
o and its based on the pon and zi quote "teddy bears dont hug back but sometimes there all you got"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i l . s a u v e n t . m a . v i a x x
A contest entry
- Your Favorite Poem by Mr..
412 points, ended June 30, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Surpise me by dying inside 4ever.
690 points, ended July 19, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRWRITE CONTEST FOR ALL by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended August 2, 1025 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write MadNess by Mango Memories.
400 points, ended July 26, 195 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A call for good poems by Misunderstood-Teen.
800 points, ended August 26, 111 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
is it sad?
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
-
Amazing Write.
This poem was very hard to read... I mean the line, "love, a dead girl with a teddy bear", was so sad yet creative to the point of what's happened. I loved it.
-
Oh my gosh. That was sooo sad.
i found a tiny sharp thing.
it can hurt.
but mommy did it and im strong like mommy.
red stuff came from my wrist.
That almost made me cry
It's a great poem, if it makes sense to say something so depressing is great.
-
yes this is a very sad poem. It was fulll of emotion and I loved it, you could really imagine the girls sadness and some little girl clinging to a teddy bear, really great poem, keep up the good work, thanks for entering my contest
-
this is very good; it is sad yes, but done very wel.
BRAVO! good luck in the contest.
-
This is a very good poem little girl...effinatly sad....your a very good poet keep up the good work.....and good luck in the contest..........................
-
i like this poem yes it is sad i almost cried u have good talent keep it up
-
im crying now!!!!
this is so sad!!!
-
thats so sad!
my mum was depressed, and this is what i went through. i love the line
'but mommy did it and im strong like mommy'
x -
wow , so saddd !!! D:
pretty good imagery , your a great writer . you made me feel sad , even though i'm in a pretty good mood. brilliant write & goodluckkk ! : )
- Lani -
-
I'm sorry i made u feel sad
and thankx so much. 
-
-
This has a lot of strong emotion, and i think some metaphors and imagery would give the emotion more of impact. The format of letters is a good idea, and really lets you get a lot out of it, and makes it very clear to the reader, but I think it would help to put more out of the box vocabulary, and more show not tell.
Writingfree -
-
Thank you for the advice... but when i write something I make no changes to it. I keep it the way it is because I'm just proud I actually wrote something.... plus I have had so many wonderful comments on this piece
~Ash
-
-
That quote is stunning.
And yes it is VERY sad.
I felt uncomfortable reading it at times.
Well done on a great write!
-
that was soo sad. it amde me cry. oh my god.
-
Very sad and I love the last line in your author's notes:
"Teddy bears dont hug back but sometimes there all you got"
Great take on this quote. It's a terrible thing when children
find out that their parents' are dead. It can be a very devastating
and trying time for them. Great thoughts here and I wish you well
in our contest. Thanks a lot for entering!
Jeremy0826 -
this is so very sad
it brought tears to my eyes
wished i could have been able to give the little girl and her teddy bear a big hug
-
Amazing!!!
IDC What Others Say
I Think Its Truly Deep And Sad
And Basicaly AMAZING
-
Oh wow!! Nicely done and very intense how it was written. Great job!
-
Emotional Great job and good luck
-
Great Job
I so love this poem, in its depressin ways. Its hard to read because it makes me want to cry and give the little girl a hug but epic write. Way to go.
-
this is so good...i really like it...it has to be one of my favorite things that i have ever read.....
-
It is definitely sad, and you showed us the pain in such a poetic way.
Bravo!!
Nela
-
really good
-
a little but good
like it bunches
-
so sad , but this was an amazing write.
keep writeing . -
Very sad.
-
Yes its sad very well written and formed..
Your friend in Poetry JackReed3..
-
Sorry forgot to applaud lol
xoxoxoxx
-
YES that is incredibly and perfectly written, so moving, I can't imagine not having either parents. I love the naivity of the little girl, adds innocence to the piece therefore making it sadder.
Great Write
xoxoxoxx -
holy cow burgers... that was so sad and beautiful. it was great. the best thing i have read in quite awhile
-
It really made me cry. I'm still crying. Its really sad. :'( great job writing it dear. It was very well written.
-
Awe, this made me cry, but you written it so beautiful. I love this poem sissy. It's so beautiful and very heart warming and touching. A great poem to write about and very true because sometimes our parents don't pay attention to us when we need them the most
-
this made me cry. this is so good though.
-
wow. this was so sad. this really did make me cry. this was amazing! i loved it! great write hun, keep it up
-
It's really good! although I didn't use as much imagination as you... the locking in the room part is a bit too odd though.
-
-
eh... im odd anyway....
-
-
wow
very good talent. it was very sad but like said before its probably true. this is such a good poem, with a whole lot of feeling behind it. great job.
-
awwwww <3
-
omg i didnt cry but i teared up...hun this is soo sad! wow i couldnt write this...u got tallent.
-
Wow. You got me in tears. This is truly a sad poem. I really do feel sorry for that little girl. You really know how to create an image in the mind. And this one does that and touches the heart. Thanks for sharing this. Excellent poem.
-
Daddy loves you!!!
This is a very
, but probably somewhere in the world, a true story! Poor girl never experienced the warmth of a nice !
You are a very talented poet, and I ma glad you are one of my daughters!!!
-
Excellent and so heart felt indeed
Many young people finds life often is very unfair and they cling to their teddy bears or the comfort they never were given . Tears fall from my eyes honey this is excellent indeed
-
this is wiked good! and u captured the simplicity of a little kids mind great! i loved it, great write!
-
This is so sad.
It made me cry.
I cried as I read through
this. Great write though.
-
omg hun this is so good and i loved the imagery portrayed in it. i loved every word and i have tears in my eyes. this is beautiful in a way and i really loved it. i loved to read it and i loved the story behind it aswell. such amazing portrayed imagery. this is beautiful hun. one of your best and it goes wit hthe qupte so well. i really loved every word. amazing
Adding your comment:
1 - 45 of 45
