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Addicted

I walk hand.in.hand with you;;
                                          but I have -no- idea why(?)
You (wink) at me;; but I've :learned: that means...
                          ..nothing..
the "things" you do usually mean the !exact! o/p/p/o/s/i/t/e
you && your stupid habits,,
                        stupid infatuations,,
is it really that < goddamn > HARD to JUST be faithful?
You make me question (?) why I ♥love♥ you and stickaround
>>honestly I know, I don't need to question;;
but I try to /convince/ myself otherwise
You wrapyourarmsaroundme,
I know «exactly» where this is going
and I am not even going to stop! it
Why?
because the attention you give is like a {drug}
without it,, I am m/i/s/e/r/a/b/l/e and b/ro/ke/n
with it, I am just LESS mis/era/ble and bro/ken
Here .we. are, < take > advantage of my selfless soul
because I (believe) every goddamn pretty lie
out of those luscious .a.d.d.i.c.t.i.v.e. {lips}

Author notes

Option 3: Songs!

1. Addicted-Saving Abel

A contest entry

What did you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • fairy princess k
    September 28

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    hey

    Kool poem =) , you have a unique style of writing, good use of drty pretty in this poem , i like its story, it' somethign everyone can realate to, i like lines -You (wink) at me;; but I've :learned: that means...
    ..nothing.. ,,is it really that < goddamn > HARD to JUST be faithful?
    You make me question (?) why I ♥love♥ you and stickarou k .
    k and also- because the attention you give is like a {drug}
    without it,, I am m/i/s/e/r/a/b/l/e and b/ro/ke/n
    with it, I am just LESS mis/era/ble and bro/ken
    Here .we. are, < take > advantage of my selfless soul
    because I (believe) every goddamn pretty lie
    out of those luscious .a.d.d.i.c.t.i.v.e. {lips} k
    wonderful .k
    thanks for your entrie k.
    byyyyyyyyyye k


  • edit my world.
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    wow, i honestly haven't read or wrote dirty pretty in forever and it feels interesting to read it again, it gives me this rush of awesomeness. anyway i loved this to me i think the background was perfect for this for it almost reads like a journal entry anyway.

    you've got some powerful enery that just sucks readers in more and more keep it going..

    dani <3


  • Desire gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You!

    Thank You for Your entry: Addicted
    This piece tugged hard at Spirit and after reading several times ~
    I'm Honored also Humbled You took the time to pen for my contest
    You took the prompt and brought forth much for the Mind to feast upon~
    Bravo!! When I digest words written, images come through that grab hard~
    Woven Strengths: Now I am all for Creative presentation as long as it does not detract from the message While reading- I was feeling the flow but got to Line Six- you && your stupid habits,,
    I have only done dirty pretty once but am curious as to the double punctuation like double commas and semi-colons~ I use ... a lot in my writes- but that is me and the double punctuation does not take away from Your write- I just kept
    being pulled to look at them for some reason
    After reading again- I was seeing images of a female with strands of either light green hue dyed in hair and parts of hair shaved to express- with ring through nose- and with this image- a talent to draw- draw Magnificent pieces- draw faces-
    with much detail to the person's likeness I am being shown gum in mouth- as if chewing it and stretching it out- but it seems the chewing helps break a habit or a nervous behavior
    Also shown flowers as if created from metal stems and satin type petals from an Arts Store Different ones put together to create a bouquet or arrangement
    Love the direction You took with this prompt
    Hopefully my comment to Your write makes sense
    Powerful verse and message You have brought forth

    These words grabbed and pulled~
    the "things" you do usually mean the !exact! o/p/p/o/s/i/t/e
    you && your stupid habits,,
    stupid infatuations,,
    Vivid Imagery poured in these lines...

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice
    also best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Many blessings too
    with much love and light~ Desire~*~


  • SizzyFid
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    I like very much, considering I don't generally dig the style much. It's certainly pretty in more ways than one though. >33

    "without it,, I am m/i/s/e/r/a/b/l/e and b/ro/ke/n
    with it, I am just LESS mis/era/ble and bro/ken"
    This line was delicious. I want to eat it. Srsly.

    "is it really that < goddamn > HARD to JUST be faithful?"
    You poured a lot of passion into this piece, and my heart was officially ripped out... Then sewn back into place. =]

    Bring yourself to the next round. You made the finalists indeed. Congrats. x


  • Angel Lunarious
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    I like this alot...well put Thanks and good luck in the contest

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