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Life's fabric

 

her fingertips run across

fabric, smooth and coarse

tenderly mapping life's path

 

laced with silver

some places threaded

dark; she feels life

weaved by others

and self

 

within feel there is touch,

soft and kind

but, also yearning

patterned

as hurt and pain

 

sighs breathe gold; its path
loving-kindness

where hope refines love

 



 

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • FransB gold member
    July 17
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    Thanks for the revisit

    Thought of you the past week; no news is good news! Blessings Frans


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    July 8

    Edit | Reply

    "where hope refines love"

    and where love defines hope. Thank you for sharing your muse's wonderfully heart-felt fabric with all of us. Your words bring peace and joy.

    Peace, Love & Hugs,
    xx Cyn xx


    • FransB gold member
      July 8

      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Cyn

      I truly enjoy it when you stop by to comment. Blessings to you. Frans


  • ajocean silver member
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    very nice I liked it alot. keep it coming


  • BonnieQ silver member
    June 29
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    Sometimes Nubby, Sometimes Smooth

    Indeed, life is often like fabric: has its rough moments then smooth ones, its darkness then the sparkle of gold or silver. It drapes us in a way to make us whom we become, strong or weak: the choice is ours and ours alone.

    This is the only line I feel needs a touch of edit: "sighs of gold had thread its path" -- 'had thread' is not proper, 'had threaded' is but changes meter; suggest "sighs of gold threaded its path" -- maintains line meter.

    Once again, dear friend, you never disappoint the reader with the depth and beauty of your writing talent; of which you are abundantly blessed. This piece is deserving of GOLD!

    Much love & hugs, SisBon


    • FransB gold member
      July 8
      Edit | Reply

      Dear BonnieQ

      I have revisited the final stanza; hope you like it. Blessings. Frans

    • FransB gold member
      June 29
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      It was the same line I struggled with - now a better choice; it make reading smoother. Blessings and thank you for your time. Frans


      • BonnieQ silver member
        July 17

        Edit | Reply
        I looooo-ve the changes you made. It flows so beautifully and smoothly now!
        Luv & hugs, SisBon

1 - 9 of 9