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Swoosh

The monsoons came
louder than the stereo
in my car
pelting hard on the rooftop
with a rain of bullets.
Wipers swish and swoosh
struggling to contain the water
to the confines

of their rubber dams,
the swoosh is washed away
leaving an obscured  road...
Swish swish swish
squelched wheels
comes to a stop.

In a list

A contest entry

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1 - 7 of 7

  • crivanea silver member
    July 2

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    creativity: 19/20
    imagery: 20/20
    word choice: 19/20
    impact: 35/40

    wow! take something so normal..(driving in the rain) and make it sound like a terrifying experience) very nice! good word choice! "swish swish.."


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    July 1

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    Awesome - Love it!!

    While reading this poem, I imagined how intense life must be; way over there in the land of Éire - cold, frozen winters, always drizzling, in the rainy season of springtime - and probably summer and fall, too - and I'm wondering how you are able to cope and make it through all the extreme weather on your magical island. I suppose it must be magical, for why else would the Irish be so hardy, loyal, and proud of their ruggedly beautiful homeland?!!? This poem reminds of of the You Tube video, "The Blood Of Cu Chulainn" Ireland: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIg5_JXgZs4
    Althought it's not raining (in the footage shown), the scenic beauty of my motherland is emotionally overwhelming; rain or shine, it will always be my homeland, too. And I remember that every one of us has a choice to turn toward the sun, yet blessings from the rain are bestowed upon everyone...
    Thank you for sharing your survivalist's poem of life, and for being YOU!!
    Loves ya, xx Cyn


    • Lady Ireland gold member
      July 1
      Edit | Reply
      You are so kind, always writing the best things, i love how you disect the poem. loves ya!
      D. xx


  • fortyninereasons gold member
    June 28

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    I have forgotten how rain sounds...
    We don't get enough here lately to make any noise

    Juls


  • geckogirl silver member
    June 27

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    aww sound like the rain last week.... great piece hon, well done


  • Pure Thought silver member
    June 27
    Edit | Reply
    You are "sounding" very well tonight.


  • FransB gold member
    June 27

    Edit | Reply

    We have been

    in sogging rain the past two weeks, making it most difficult to drive; the garden is drenched and swimmingpool overflowing. Then there's the icy winds and raw cold. I therefore can associate with the words in your poem. Safe driving my friend! Blessings. Frans

1 - 7 of 7