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What Love will do

Love could have you in a spell.
make you kill.

make you ill.
 could make you hate.


Love makes me cry
makes me feel like i could die
Love Takes me places in side myself i have never seen.
makes me do things i said i would never do.
Love could have you locked away like a prisoner.
can make you crazy
even make you lazy

Love could get you killed
 get you hurt
Love could blind you so bad you just cant see no more
 can leave a scar on your heart for life.
Love could even make you take your life.

 

love is like a weapon it can protect you

or it could harm you.

 

 could make you fly or it could make you cry

 

Love makes the world go round it could take life or bring new life

 

 

 

In a list

what do you think help me give me feed back im new

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Polaja Greeters member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    Although I really like the ideas that you have expressed in this poem - I think that it would be more powerful without all the repetition. For example, you could have something like:

    Love;
    could have you in a spell,
    make you kill,
    even make you ill.

    Love could make you hate.

    So that the emphasis is still there, but the reader doesn't get bogged down in reading the same words over and over just a suggestion though! I enjoyed the concept of this poem - well done

    Welcome to the site, I hope that you enjoy your time here at AllPoetry!


    Polly
    Site Greeter


    • ninaisfocused
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      read it now what you think


      • Polaja Greeters member
        June 29
        Edit | Reply
        I really like the way that it flows now, the words have more power to them this is a great poem!