I told my son
If you want to be seen as important: actively
listen, as if, the person opposite you is
the most important person in the world.
You will be seen as the most intelligent
human being and they will praise you.
For do not most of us seek to be seen
as a difference maker to those around us.
In turn you will quickly realize who is
valuable to have in your life and who is
only seeking to curry favor. Surround
yourself with the people you want to be like.
Emulation is seen as genius by many.
Aping is for the brown nose or dullards.
8:05 PM • 06-27-09 • Alexandria, VA
Author notes
POM Poem of the Month Theme
ne of the secrets of success. Application is everything.
In a list
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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wise lesson all girls especially need to hear....
it bothers me still that so many women are brought up
to be : pleasers...and thus they never learn how to
be good listeners just as you describe apes or brown nosers
denying their beauty, intelligence and their unique style.
well done!
wise wise words!
ears/Seattle sis
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Took a course once, "Excellence in Listening: Excellence in Action." It brought home, made very clear how all true leadership began with being an excellent listener.
Peace & Love,
Tom B.
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You have 14 lines here instead of 17, which will impact you score a little in the rules area. You have some great messages here, but it reads like a story. In trying to get your messages across, you lost your poetic voice, and the title gives it all away. The whole thing was a little bland. Overall a nice little poem, but not for the POM.
Title: 6
Flow: 8
Creativity: 7
Imagery: 7
Grammar: 9
Presentation: 7
Impact: 7
Uniqueness: 6
Emotion: 7
Rules: 9.85
73.85/100
Good luck in the contest, and please remember, no editing once a judge has commented on your work.
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The title was a little boring, but I liked the idea of wisdom, although it might be a little overdone...still, felt it good.
Your flow was very choppy, and it seems you're cutting off your sentence with your punctuation. Maybe you could rethink this a bit.
Followed rules well, and I heard your voice.
I felt the imagery and word choices and overall impact could be stronger.
I thought through this, but did feel more like prose than a poem.
Try again, and I'm sure you'll keep improving!
Thank you for the entry!
My scores:
Title: 8
Theme: 9
Flow: 7.5
Grammar: 8.5
Creativity: 8.5
Rules: 10
Voice: 9
Imagery: 8.5
Thought factor: 9
Impact: 8.9
Overall score: 86.9
Remember, no editing once a judge has touched your poem!
Thanks!
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I think enough has been said already, so I'll just say, I enjoyed the read although you missed the line limit. Best wishes to you,
Frogz~ -
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Discretion is vastly under-rated. I appreciate it immensely.
Peace,
Tom B.
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Nice
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Oh my dear friend, such wisdom you share with your son. I personally do not wish to become popular; never did really. I much rather enjoy being alone, or at least with as few people as possible. The more popular you become, the less enjoyable life becomes. Yes, we should learn to listen. I still don't do it as well as I wish I did. I am a free thinker, I guess. My mind is always everywhere all at once. I don't know how to tune it down.
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Learning to be comfortable with who you are and willing and able to create the life you want from the materials at hand is what it is all about. No one can really do more than that. I just want to give my son pointers. He will use the ones he finds necessary.
Love,
Tom B.
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Hi.
I have read a number of your poems and have always found them well written with a style full of imagery.
Your message is strong but your usual poetic flow is missing.
Wouldn't it have been just as easy to extend it to 17 lines or was there a reason for the 14 line submission.
Good luck in the contest.
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I miscounted. Nothing like being unable to handle seven digits past ten. It'll humble ya.
Ta,
Tom B.
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Hello
Part of the Challenge for this Months POM, is a 17 L requirement -
Please be advised this will hit your write hard -
I have found your piece this Month to be more of an Informative Piece of Lit......almost as if you were writing a letter to your son, and you were telling ( us ) about it....and then you went back and started talking to him again....ie 3rd S* -
**For do not most of us......* Are you talking to the Reader now?
I think you have lost focus on who you are trying to get your mesage across to......nonetheless...you spoke to many -
( I ) believe, you lost your Poetic Voice and Poetic Tone in the process.....let my board say the rest.....Bear -
Title 5.95....had me curious......but......I would not click on this Title unless I wanted to read about this Genre or Theme.....I felt as though you told me too much and I would have passsed right over this write -
Flow 8.95...Flow is choppy because you left out so many commas which are necessary to Tone and slooooooowing me (the Reader ) down to absorb all of your thoughts before moving on -
Depth 9.3.. depth is okay....but it seemed to flow all over the board to several at once.....focus was lacking IMHO -
Theme 9.15...nice way to think out of the box....but power is lacking considerably -
Feelings 4.85...there is basically none here...nor emotions -
Grammar 8.4...pretty straight-forward choices....looking for that power -
Presentation 7.4...as stated in rules......for my own personal taste......all quatrains make me go...huuuuummmmmm.. *yawn* ...do not be afraid to break open your formatting and be creative in that department as well -
Uncommonness...9.3...Theme has not been done lately....and not as creative as I look for -
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.0...yes...I did ponder...but only to find your focus.....had to read it a few times -
Ability to follow Rules 9.0...you did not follow L requirements -
Bears Score: 81.3
Hmmmm........for me, I believe focus and uncreativeness hit your entry hard in many areas -
No editing once a Judge has touched your work -
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