My Life

Everyone sits down
And always says
"Tell me about your life
Tell me about your past

Oh i can help you"
Truth is no one can help me
You wanna know my life
Well here i go

This all started the night i was born
Daddy came all happy looking
No one knew what was hidden behind that smile
Mama stayed as daddy left the hospital

Dad went out to find some other girl
To have some fun
While his new born baby daughter
was laying in a crib at the hospital

Couple years later
Crawling around listening to screaming
New days same fights
Money,house,kids

Dad left ma
Ma held her life
Dad turned hateful
Now heres were the happiness doesn't work anymore

Go to my dad's with my older sister
Never understood anything
He stood there and beat us
Over and over locked us in our rooms

I'd sit there and just watch
As my sister cried for her mom
As he suffacted her to get her to shut up
What else could i do?

Sister left outta my life
She gotta get out
I didn't
I took her beatings for a year or so

Dad stole got caught
Left for prison
I grew up
Didn't let emotions show

Ma got depressed
Never really ate
Never came out of her room
Poor family

Later on dad comes out
Ma's had a couple hundred boyfriends by then
That Lying bastard made it sound like he missed me
He is the cause of my fears

I said one wrong thing
Dad left me
I learned to wear a mask
I hid my depression

My ma married
Thought it would be great
Nah i moved away from my friends and family
New house new town new school

Got closer to the animals
There the only ones
Who i could say anything
And they would stick by me

I started datin
Guys turning around hurtin me
Beatin me
Controling me

Started cutting
Just loving the feeling
Don't want it to stop
Want it to keep going through the years

Takin to the hospital at 14
Caught cutting
My darkened eyes
Wanting nothing to do with anyone

Told i had depression
Told i am socialphobic
I never really cared
i still don't

Just a couple of month later
Start trying to commit suicide
Told i was cuttin again
Went back to the hospital

Came out knowing everything
Went right back in a couple month later
Found in my room strangling myself
Belt around my neck

Once again taken to a hospital
I liked this hospital tho
I didn't want to leave
But i had to

Now im in a daytreatment
Now im smoking
Now im drinking
and still cutting

You can tell me
time and time again
You know what it's like for me
But you don't

You have no clue
And don't try to understand
Cuz you never will
Only because i won't let you

I love the pain
I want to die
So fuck you
Fuck off

Don't try helping me
My eyes are darkened
My look is scary
now you know my story

Now don't be askin
Dont think you can help
When you know my story about
My life