Lost in My Mind

Another one of those nights again,
Where fingertips scratch at the corners of my mind:
I feel blood collecting at the corners of my eyes,
I struggle to find what I have left behind...

What is wrong? What is gone? What should...
What should be here when I need it most,
Although never wishing to show itself:
Ah, How this faceless thing remains to me a ghost...

How it taunts me so, I think I have it known:
Only to have it slip away again, I am forever lost:
I chase after it with such determination,
But I can never tell what this might cost.

Such an old conflict! Such a lame though,
I twist and turn in my shadows, strangled -
I hold my head in my hands and cry out this night,
I contort and contract in my darkness, tangled...

My phantoms haunt me forever this night,
These endless chains ripping at my skin,
Eyes forever watching, staring, making fun:
Oh, How they should mock the monster within...

"Let's make fun of the confused one," they sing,
as they dance around me and a ghastly haze:
Screeching voices who think they can sing,
Every image and sound leaving me in a daze.

Finally I collapse at the end of the winding path,
I fall as I reach the top of the stairs:
I trip as I enter the room at the end of the hallway,
I faint before I am even aware...

I close my eyes slowly, trying to see
my breath once gasping now as soft as a whisper
I hug myself and curl up in a ball, cramping:
"Has it been like it felt like... ever...?"

I wonder aloud as the light begins to fade again,
My mind is blurred with crudely sewn memories...
I look at you and I want this to work,
But then they come back to hurt me...