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Sands Of Emptiness

Missing image

we build sand castles of emptiness
at our shores every night,
gently cast with bare hands of sorrow.

the dawn swims to the harbour again,
breathless, she collapses
into the melancholy

of drawn curtains.

drudgery

leaves the morning
rolled up in the newspaper
at our doorstep

you and I barter with the closet,
'armours in exchange for castles',
to battle the day,

we hoist smiles
on the masts of our faces

and depart...

 

the front door bids farewell;

 

but this sand on our feet...

still hurts

and scatters all over this house;

watching us leave...

our home ponders.

Author notes

i n d e r

Option 1 The war that rages Inside...and of course the prompt square pegs in round holes

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • liquidmindforever
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    Contest is closed for judging. I've noticed that you've omitted rule 7 from your author notes.
    Once you comply, please IM with title of your poem.
    till then
    best wishes
    and stay
    liquid


  • itsman
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    i like the imagery of the 3rd stanza... reminds me of "brain damage" by Pink Floyd: "The paper holds their folded faces to the floor"


  • scarlett07
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the lines "drudgery, leaves the morning, rolled up in the newspaper,
    at our doorstep", which really spoke to me as the reader.


  • Peteskid gold member
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    such a quandary, and life is just this way more hectic than we wish, more ordered than we would choose, yet it is ours...PK


  • liquidmindforever
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    Painfully humorous

    Dear Poet,

    Welcome to my contest Square peg IN A round Hole.

    You have a delightful, poetically charged voice with which you create shifting scapes in
    domicile placebo with alacrity. All that being
    said, it's good to have you.
    Thank you for entering your poem "Sands of Emptiness"

    dawn swims to the harbour again,
    breathless, she collapses
    into the melancholy
    of drawn curtains.

    Lovely visuals using the senses.

    Wishing you the best in the contest
    until then
    stay
    liquid


  • Melodies
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Clever poem, nicely put with fine images and remarkable metaphors. Would make a good poem for college literature books... students could interpret the poem... Very good stuff here.

1 - 6 of 6