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Ever

They hate me now
because I wouldn't change for them

...breaking down

buildings start caving in

...crazy sounds
surrounding violins

echo                              around

and gaping mouths
begin to grin


Now we've found

the greatest wow

in how

this will not end







Author notes

haven't really written in a long time,
whatya think?

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • btatro
    August 19

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    Dude, i remember last night we were talking about this one. Heres my opinion on what the last half of it means. " and gaping mouths begin to grin Now we've found the greatest wow in how this will not end" Makes me think of like a way of saying that you wanted that night to end up with everyone happy, but it never ends up that way. . definately on days that are suppose to be special. But i dont know.. thats just my opinion.. Awesome writing man. .


  • going nowhere
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    i dont know... it seems like if someone hates me because i wont change that im doing something right. everntually, they see we are strong in our beliefs and stand firm for them. they may continue hating, but there has to be some respect there also. the ending left me wondering why it wont end... is it because we continue to move while others stand still? is it because others remain peering through tunnel vision at our beliefs? i like it... makes me think.


  • shattered.frisco
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    The first two lines are what I can really relate to. And those two lines are half the reason I am the way I am now. Thanks for sharing, great way of setting it up as well.


    x


  • Pisces Pieces
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    I love the format, I think it adds to the effect of the words, and it flows well together too...my favorite part is that about the sounds...and great imagery!

    It is definitely mysterious, I wouldn't say lacking, but more like...curious and wanting...

    I like it! Very interesting!

    ♥


  • Veronica Leigh
    June 28
    Edit | Reply
    It just kinda leaves you wanting more. Otherwise,it's really good I think. really intriguing.


  • raw love
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    It has been quite some time since you've written! I like it. I feel that it starts out really really strong and perhaps loses a little at the end. But overall, KEEP WRITING, you know how to use your words.

1 - 8 of 8