The Irony of Dying Young, I:I

The Irony Of Dying Young
Act I, Scene I

[the lights come up on a Saunders Family Dinner. we see each family member under the spotlight in turn, which focuses for a long moment on each. pans left to right from James, looking over briefs at the head of the table, to Mickey, absently tracing her pearls with her fingers and sipping at a martini with the other hand, to Ollie, drumming on the table with his knife and fork while talking animatedly to his brother - and finally, to Lane across from his father, half-listening to his brother while staring out into space.]

Ollie: Yeah, and i was thinking maybe i could get a drumset! they've got, like, these drums down at mark's guitars, and it's red and totally cherry.

Mickey: Cherry? that's a big redundant, kiddo. if it's cherry, of course it's red.

Lane: [snickering] No, mom. he means cherry like virgin. y'know, mint condition? untouched by man? never been fucked wi-

James: [snaps his head up] That's enough of that, young man. i don't want you saying things like that to your mother.

Lane: It's not like she hasn't said worse to me. [adds under his breath] it's not like YOU haven't said worse to her, either.

James: And what is THAT supposed to mean?

Lane: You know exactly  what it means, dad. do you honestly think we don't hear you guys fighting late at night after you sneak back in from hanging out with whichever secretary you're currently fucking? who is it now, dad? sandy? oh, no, she was last month. it must be amy, right? the new girl who has NO idea what kind of man you are?

Mickey: [puts a hand up to stop Lane's speech] Honey, stop it. let's just have a nice family dinner.

Lane: [scoffs, moving to stand] Don't you have to have a nice family before you have a 'nice family dinner?'

James: [slams his silverware on the table, standing up and resting his fists on the table as he yells at Lane] Alright, damnit, that's enough! I have had it up to here with your brooding and your smartass remarks! I am still the parent in this house, and you will fucking respect me, Lane, or you will leave. You got that?

Lane: [looks at his mother, who looks worried as she quickly downs her martini; then Ollie, who is pleading silently with him to end it. Heaving a sigh, he nods almost imperceptibly at his little brother. Turns back to his dad] Ya, mein fuhrer! [clicks his heels enthusiasticallyand sarcastically salutes his father before disgustedly pushing his chair away from the table, turning his back on the family and walking offstage right.]

James: I'm going to take these briefs to my office, Michelle. I can't concentrate with all of this melodrama. [pushes his chair away from the table, gathers his briefs, walks offstage left.]

Mickey: ... [opens her mouth to speak, fumbles for a moment, and closes her mouth, standing abruptly and moving to clear plates]

Ollie: [jumps up, dropping his forgotten silverware with a loud clatter. Takes the dishes from his mother] Mom, you go ahead. I can get these into the dishwasher. I can't promise i won't use too much detergent and turn the kitchen into a soap rave again, but at least they'll be clean.

Mickey: [smiles weakly, touching the side of Ollie's face before kissing his forehead and walking off upstage centre.]

Ollie: [looks around the room and sighs. he picks up all the plates, pausing at each absent family member's chair for a moment. with a last forlorn, sweeping look, he walks offstage.]

BLACKOUT. lights come up on Lane, upstairs in his room in the attic, staring out his window as strains of Black Hole Sun play faintly. Lane's Room is cluttered, floor strewn with magazines, most of which have something to do with guitars or porn. in one corner is a modest twin-sized bed, rumpled and only half-covered by his blanket. opposite that corner is the door. on the left side of the panel leading downstairs is a large stereo, complete with subwoofers and a full soundsystem. the pride of the room, however, is Lane's Guitar.