This old life..
it ain't for keepin,
it ain't for wastin,
or about wonderin
where it went wrong,
don't ya be frettin
when it will end.
This old life..
whos got the wheel,
move it forward,
crank that mother,
fill er up ,
wipe that tear.
This old life..
bring it down,
start it up,
touch me there,
take it home,
pass that bottle,
one more time.
This old life..
its in your eyes,
it moves your feet,
it writes your songs,
get in key,
sing it loud,
in the streets,
steppin out.
This old life,
it ain't for keepin.
A contest entry
- Rhyme,Lyrics, Prose, Dirty Pretty. by Antebellum.
800 points, ended September 24, 298 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 61 of 61
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Lyrical blues theme sounds out a true message....A different style but a poweful one....Enjoyable, and poignantly effective!
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Like this, yes I can see a similarity in this and the poem you commented on that I wrote... I can also feel that this would "speak" much louder through song. So often happens with music. I know a lot of things I write are songs in my head, and don't translate as well without the music, lol. But I can't write music so, poetry they shall remain!!!
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Ha!
This is probably one of the simplest poems I've ever seen come from your hand, Liam. So truthful all the same, though. In total agreement on this one. -
I love this poem. It reminds me of that old saying, "You gotta lose your life to find out who you are." Magnificent as always, dear.
-Kelly -
wow
really great write kudos to you! raise a glass to age with age comes wisdom
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This ol' guitar ain't mine to keep
just mine to play for awhile...Neil Young
So it is with life brother, nothing's for keeps
just to share for awhile
share it all
don't waste a drop
keep talkin
keep singin
yeah,
and bring that bottle
over here
Hey my vagabond brother, I love your soul poetry...but ya already know that don't ya
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Ohhh wonderful lyrics? I believe...or atleast it should be.
fantastic write.
thanks so much for entering.
good luck -
Do you play guitar?
Swear I hear this verse as sung by a raspy voice and a guitar...it's got that rhythm to it, and the repeat on the title line works well to underline the message. First I've read of yours...nice pen
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Life old and new
Has quite many different sides to it it's all in how we live it. Everyday there always something that must change like the weather thats how we are. lol like your style of write it's from the heart. Thanks for sharing!
Sharon
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This old life...I can hear Kris or Waylon belting this out. I love it.
Our days are like a pocket full of change...they sit there useless until you spend it. It ain't for keeping! Great advice my friend.
Excellence as expected.
Rory
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i love how u made it so bluesy.
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I like your lyrics...and song is the blues ..Strong message...Keep penning friend.....
write...that gypsy
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song-like
nice composition of words.. as i read them, they flowed like the lyrics of a song.. i could imagine it having an RnB vibe to it, with a really cool bass.. there may be too much commas though.. all in all its a great work.
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The flow of it sounds like Slam poetry, I like it.
This seemed sad, but not at the same time.
I'm not sure if that makes any sense to you.
"This old life,
its in your eyes,
it moves your feet,
it writes your songs,
get in key,
sing it loud,
in the streets,
steppin out."
I loved that part.
You did a great job.
keep it up.
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I like this
This has a sort of comic thing to it, but has an underlining beautiful message.
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great
Leavin the g of of the words gives the poem a sharp, workin class edge (well, that's what my whole family talks, at least). A powerful rhythm that indicates to the reader that he/she needs to stop wastin life and get to livin. Good, sound advice. -
This is wonderful. It make you wont to go right now and not miss anything. Life is for doing not for keepin. Well written poet.
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So let it go
Your writing always tears at the most tender nerve.
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Absolutely breathtaking imagery in this piece. Nicely written!!
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Wow, this is amazinq writinq.
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I will admit this is one of your best! Good way with words my friend!
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excellent effort
powerfully written, strong sentiments indeed, easily felt bythe reader.
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"This old life,
whos got the wheel," -- WHO'S
"This old life,
Bring it down," -- bring shouldn't be capitalized
"This old life,
its in your eyes," -- IT'S
I love the flow of this, and the feel is very bluesy, kind of reminiscent of "Mother to Son" by Langston Hughes. Anyone else get that feeling?
One suggestion: maybe you could take out a few of the commas to give it a smoother read
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The Blues...
Wow. Hits hard. This piece sounds like a blues song, it's just so down to earth real, and gritty. I felt every word of it. Great work, Liam!!
Peace & hugs,
xx Cyn xx
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This is definately a song isn't it? I could almost feel the music. In fact I was imagining Bob Dylan or Donovan singing it. The way its written is catchy and its an interesting philosophy of life.
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I LOVE IT.
bluesy old Allman Bros tune, from a Yankee no doubt. Sometimes I think you were really born in the south, and somehow they decided you'd be too much if raised on sweet tea under the Spanish moss infested Oak trees.
(it's invasive ya know
}....love this all the way through.
Loves ya always,
jin
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Perfect write as ever!!!
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This one seemed to grab me by the face, sit me down in a chair and tell me outright everything I've been doing wrong in my life, haha.
Or maybe more so... what I SHOULD be doing... your days are too numbered to worry about the silly things, so crank up that gear and enjoy the ride.
I love how you write things in a way that everybody will understand, everyone will relate to. The way you describe events and objects so that the reader will think ''yes... that's exactly right''. Quite a rare talent and very commendable.
The way this is set out is perfect. Like someone sitting and talking to you as you reflect upon your old life.
This is the kind of work that will live forever.
Much love,
Jess x
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Ha! Brilliant last line! I agree with glazecovered below me, everything is great but you forgot the apostrophes.
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Sounds almost like a country song. Lack of apostrophes aside - this is good. Like the readers below, I think the last line really delivers. I'd pass you the bottle, but I have no idea where you are, so I'll drink for you.
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Wow, Another flawless write.
This was wonderful.The first stanza just about sums it up. A very true and fantastic write you have here. I enjoyed the read very much.
Mandi
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Wonderful depiction of how life can be and truly is for some. I felt so much emotion reading this...battling my demons as of late, I have a very sensitive emotive threshold. I truly enjoyed the read. Great write as always, Liam, ~Gypsy~
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i especially love those last two lines and the strong sentiment they bring!!! as always this is wonderful! still very rhythmic and sing song as well as artfully said!
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Very concise. Great write.
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COOL!
Well, lots of fun with a good old boy morality to it as well as in the language...
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Fantastic and very true!
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As usual it's a masterful example your skill. It conjures up images of my own life on the road. Good luck in the contest and happy trails.
A fellow wayfaring stranger.
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After reading through your comments, I couldn't agree more. It has a definite musical quality to it. Nice job
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This is really good.
This is a really inspiring poem my friend. The first stanza in particular hooked me in quickly. It was the subliminal truth: Life will end, and don't worry about when it does. I found that very interested and intriguing. The rest of the stanza's are filled with joy and fun. You finished it nicely with the same line you used at the beginning, which was very effective. The poem basically showed me that: even though there are going fun times, it won't last forever. And we gotta deal with that.
GOOD WRITE. GAVE ME ALOT TO THINK ABOUT.
Haha , This old life.. I'm only 16.
Keep on writing Lowell Poe!
TrueBlueWriter...
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It took me a while to think of it but this reminded me of a bunch of grizzly old men that haven't shaved in a while and are wandering around in tattered jackets with a bottle in paper bag, shouting at the youth to live it up! lol I'm not sure why that would pop in my head but it did. This had that kind of careful fun feel to it. You did a good job here.
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The first stanza says it all
"This old life,
it ain't for keepin,
it ain't for wastin,
or about wonderin,
where it went wrong,
don't ya be frettin,
when it will end."
That's not to say that the rest of it isn't wonderful. But the first stanza is great. So much truth packed into twenty six words.
It indeed has a lovely bounce and flow. It's just asking to be put into music. -
Damn straight Bro'. The best revenge against those who would hold us down is to keep on keepin' on. Time to go downstairs and gather another bottle.
Peace
And yeah, I may not be any cheerier than I was before I read it, but hey, perspective is a grand thing. Just keep on moving.
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What can I say... well what can I say that they haven't said already *points down* It's wonderful.. Had a nice bounce to it all the way through and the flow was impeccable. Clappies for you!
xo
Cyb
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Catchy....
rollin rollin rollin RAWHIDE!!!
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LOL...
is the contest 'cheer me up'? I love this, but perhaps 'cause I'm thinking of 'my old life' I don't want to say it's not for keeping! So true that we needn't fret about when it'll be over...but we can do that can't we? I'm not passing no bottle, was weaned long ago! 
Hey...as usual you penned a potent write. All the best in the contest! 
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Wow, I truly love this. All the lines are pretty much amazing! I agree with Gypsy I think it would probably make a good song(:. Great write.
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well....... I think it's great! A wonderful flow, if you know what I'm saying. THis will work great as a song!
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Just think how happy a 90yr old would be to be our ages?
Or as I say often to 30 yr olds - you're still an embryo! So, lets have fun with these borrowed old carcusses.
Well written Mr Poe.
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"This old life,
Bring it down,
start it up,
touch me there,
take it home,
pass that bottle,
one more time."
love this stanza! It really brings it home. Pass that bottle..this life aint for keepin....its just a loan...do what you will.
This has a different flow from your others, its new... lighter maybe, but still full of you. Seeing through your eyes is always a treat! Well penned, my friend!
Always
Jackie
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I feel your music all in my bones. Pass that bottle one more time. This I love.
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never a truer word spoken!! i love the feel of this and if anyones feeling sorry for themselves then they need to read this, ride that ride baby, you dont get a second chance!
a great write liam. i wpould love to own a book of poetry written by you.!! x x x
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Veru nice
Sounds like you're having fun. Loved it!
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Go to New Orleans and find a blues artist right now to get some music to go with these great lyrics! haha.
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Nice job. The message seems despondent, but the short lines and repitition give it a fast pace that makes it seem almost sarcastic.
Well done.
Mike
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Man this has a real jazz feel to it dear poet love the rythm
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OK
I enjoyed this, but can't think of wonderful reasons. I just like it. I suppose I do especially like poems of this length, and the short lines, and dry style.
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Lyrical rhythm and blues song, my friend..nostalgic, and rather mournful but midst the ode to better times and "life it ain't for keepin" you have us enjoying your beat and words...Excellent! ..a gypsy named
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Wow
This old life it ain't for keepin
got grey hair sproutin in the mirror
lines on the face
just tellin me where I been
purple lined hands
that once held hearts
it ain't for keepin
it's a blues song
as true as it's gonna get
and it ain't for...
really stunning dear Irish
you've outdone youself on this one!
none of this stuff is for keepin
-c
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so glad you didn't delete this. it brought a smile to my face. beautiful, and truthful as always.
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encore
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Excellent Write
Very relatable emotions in this poem. It reminds me of when my mind gets on a roll and it doesn't stop for anything. keep writing
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