June 24, 2009
A few days ago I started thinking about rhymes for the names of the flowers (whores) of The Hothouse; see my account of the place at http://allpoetry.com/poem/5435221
"Rose" was easy; it rhymes with "blows". For Lily I thought "The sight of her will raise your willy." Lotus had an admirer there whose name I didn't learn; I could assume it was Otis. Violet rhymes with "defile it". I thought of a near-rhyme for Orchid: "Her pussy's tight, y'wanna pork it?" However, I don't like near-rhymes and for a true rhyme could think of nothing but an awkward reference to the id of someone such as Mork, Mickey Rourke, The Duke of York, or unsuccessful 1987 Supreme Court nominee Robert Bork.
Then I remembered that I dare not write rhymed verse before my July 2 appointment with my summer psychiatrist, and if he wants to see me again this year I'll have to wait until after our last session. I go to Tucson in October; my winter shrink there isn't a problem, but Dr. Strauss in Manhattan believes, based on past observations, that when I produce rhymed poetry it's a sign that I'm in danger of turning into John the Psychopath again. He'll ask what I'm writing and if he doesn't like the answer he'll up my antipsychotics, triggering writer's block. I figure nonfiction's pretty safe, I could probably get away with short stories, free verse would worry him, but rhyme is right out.
You may be familiar with the strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Jekyll, a proper Victorian English physician and researcher, was too inhibited to enjoy life; he discovered a drug which transformed him into the evil Mr. Hyde, enabling him to have some fun for a change. Bipolar patients like me must take psychiatric drugs to prevent such a transformation. The formula for Jekyll's drug is unknown, but my own experiences suggest that it may have been an amphetamine.
When told of my problem with Dr. Strauss, a friend suggested prevarication; I replied "Like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie!" I was lying, of course. Lying to her was not a problem for me, but psychiatry is my religion; to lie to my shrink would be like lying to the priest at confession.
When told of my problem with Dr. Strauss, my sister suggested "Take the antipsychotics!" The Psychopath scares her.
July 3
Yesterday I took half a Zyprexa to mellow me out, told Dr Strauss the truth and nothing but the truth, omitting only the whole truth, and persuaded him that he needn't see me again unless I call for another appointment. Hurray, now I can write anything!
Is it possible to tell from your writing when you are about to become psychotic?
Comments
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strange... i know i shouldnt be laughing as its a serious issue, yet i find myself chuckling. i especially like 'to lie to my shrink would be like lying to the priest at confession.' good work!
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Laugh away, I am doing my best to be funny!
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You ask, "Is it possible to tell from your writing when you are about to become psychotic?" And I would say thus: only if you bother to read it through to check for typos. This means that 99% of people here at AP are saner than we are.
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how wonderful to see (read) you writing again although i think Rory has been writing secretly for months and publishing under another doggy name on All Poetry and only logs in when you are sleeping. my real life bipolar friend is going through a real bad patch at the moment and her medication seems to be not working very well I hope one day there will be a cure and not just a treatment for this illness that a lot of people like to pretend they dont have.
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Oh my. I haven't read your stuff in ages. I don't know if you haven't posted much or I've been so busy I just miss them.
I really enjoy your off kilter type of humor though. You lightens the day up and make things seem a little funnier. In some ways you remind me kind of Woody Allen. You did a great job here.
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Very glad you like it.
Note that I just added a report on my July 2 shrink session.
I like Woody Allen and used to look like him; people on the streets of NYC pretended to think I was Woody, or maybe they really did think so, although surely the resemblance wasn't that close. I was so annoyed that I grew a beard and mustache in order to look different. This was at the time when Woody was in the news for romancing his girlfriend's daughter, which I myself have never ever done. Not even once.
You haven't read much by me lately because I wasn't writing; I only write when I'm feeling cheerful but am depressed most of the time. For a while I was writing one poem every ten months. -
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LOL I could see why that might be an issue for you.
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Let's put it this way: You are an open door. How many open doors does one find on a poetry channel?
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