Are you really out there...?
The one who will come and save me...
The one who will cure this incurable disease?
You'd make my heart squirm and waver,
Just from seeing your face day in and day over.
Loneliness won't be problem,
for your warm arms would hold me until i stop sobbing.
Memories would be good and bad; fun and sad,
In the end, love wouldn't stop,
not for a million red tears, it wouldn't drop...
Would this all be real?
It seems to surreal.
Believing in such far-fetched dreams,
may just be beyond this boy's imagination in the grand scheme.
A contest entry
- ♥ ..The Only Way I'll Smile is if you Cut me Ear to Ear.. ♥ by BrokenHeartsInVain.
434 points, ended July 14, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I am love... feed me! PW welcome! by Fallen-Muse.
650 points, ended July 9, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What are your thoughts?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is very beautiful. Good luck!!
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I like this. There is something about it that attracted me to it. The more I read it, the more I liked it. It is deep and I can see that you poured maybe so much of yourself in this piece. The line below I have picked out should contain the word *BE*
*Loneliness won't a problem*,
Dark Wishes
Wayne Leon
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This poem in particular is one that came from the deepest of my heart. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks, I actually have be in the original version... I feel stupid for having messed it up here.
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I really do like this poem. But I think you need to make a correction in this line:
''Loneliness won't a problem,''
It doesn't quite make sence to me. I love the lines, ''You'd make my heart squirm and waver, from seeing your face day and day over.'' That really described some of my emotions.
Unfortunately, as good as the poem is, I can't quite see how it relates to depression. My contest is about falling into depression, not falling out of it.
Thank you for entering and good luck. ♥ -
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The line ''Loneliness won't a problem,'' was actually suposee to be...
''Loneliness won't be problem,''
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HEY I LIKE THIS POEM SO CHECK MINE OUT YOU`LL PROBABLY LIKE MINE
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. I commented on a poem of yours.
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THIS IS AWESOME!!!! GREAT WRITE!!!
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Thnaks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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