Depart my love, seclusion’s plight
and dance with me this soulful night
along this path of midnight’s tow
while Moon still bears her blushing glow.
Come take my hand, my love requite
between us tender bond unite
and velvet dreams descend like snow
while Moon still bears her blushing glow.
With swirling beams this flame ignite
upon my breast your hand alight
entwine with me, your grace bestow
while Moon still bears her blushing glow.
Explore the depths of love’s delight-
seductive ways I cannot fight.
Enfold me till her reign is low
while Moon still bears her blushing glow.
To bathe with me, my shimm’ry sprite,
completes the round of sacred rite.
Our soothing harmony will flow
while Moon still bears her blushing glow.
Author notes
Kyrielle
A Kyrielle is a French form of rhyming poetry written in quatrains (a stanza consisting of 4 lines),
and each quatrain contains a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last
line of each stanza). Each line within the poem consists of only eight syllables. There is no limit
to the amount of stanzas a Kyrielle may have, but three is considered the accepted minimum.
The rhyme pattern is completely up to the poet.
I chose aabB aabB
original prompt: Midnight Moon
A contest entry
- The Blue Lamp Post Presents "Kyrielle" by The Blue Lamp Post.
1750 points, ended July 21, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites with Conditions by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended October 27, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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Oh my, this is beautiful. One of my favorite forms, too! Your rhyme is not simple, yet is well thought out. A great use of vocabulary. I really enjoyed the sensual, romantic tale told. Well done, poet! Thanks so much for entering my contest. It’s an honor read your fine work!
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Beautiful!!
Oh my goodness, this just wraps around you and carries you up to new heights. Very peaceful! I love everything you write!!! -
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Well I could say the same about everything unique, insightful piece you write!!
Thank you for the lovely comment!
K
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Oh my.
This is very good.
I love the changes you made and your anchor line is stellar. An anchor line can make or break a Kyrielle. Well done to this contest prompt. A pleasure to read and enjoy. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Thank you! This was fun to write, a great form. And one of my favorite subjects..
Thanks for the suggestions
K
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"In swirl beams this flame ignite" - this line is only 7 syllable and should be eight.
Try something like: "Beams swirl within as flames ignite"
"can not fight." - cannot
I am going to come back to this one ... Plenty of time to teak this beauty. - and what a beauty it is too. I will be back. ~Pamela
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Ok, updated....
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I've never heard of this form!! Or many others!! This ís a great writÉ!! Delightful!!
*Kelsí*
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Thank you! I appreciate you reading and leaving a comment!
K
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delightful! Wow, this contest is making me love this form. This one is great, good luck to you, I loved this.
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Thank you, yes I have enjoyed reading the other entries and there are some really wonderful ones here!
K
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How lovely! And how ambitious to form a kyrielle of five stanzas when using such a rhyme scheme. I love the beautiful imagery and emotional tone of this piece. It drew me into the story/scene.
A few tweaks are needed: Stanza 3 Line 1 (S3L1) has only 7 syllables, not 8. S4L2 ends in "deny," which does not follow your rhyme scheme of "-ight."
Nicely done!
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Thank you my dear, I will tweak- I have fought it, but I will give in, I hope there is time for me to make minor changes. I was really hoping to wring two syllables out of swirl....
Thank you for a lovely comment
K
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If you want "swirl" to be two syllables, add a hypen to it to force it to be read that way! You do have poetic license, after all!
Nice tweak.
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Blush and dance, rhyme and seduction...
This form suites you well! I admire how
you keep it so light and playful, so full of
the tenderness that can be the night.
Blue
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Thank you for the lovely comment, I really enjoyed this form and trying it out. Im glad The Blue Lamp Post offers a chance to try out different forms
Thanks again.
K
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EXPLORE THE DEPTHS OF LOVES DELIGHT
SUCH DARLING WAYS I CANT DENY
OH MY GOODNESSTHIS IS SO COMPLETELY BEAUTIFUL
I HAVE MISSED THIS PLACE AND YOU IM GLAD TO BE BACK AND GLAD TO READ YOUR EXCELLENT WORK
THANKYOU
T
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Hey!!! Im glad you're back! Thank you so much for a lovely comment!!
K
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omg
I loved it, it left me ata loss for words
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Wow! Thank you!!
K
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Very nice write, I would have to go and do some research on the form to have anything constructive to say. Suffice it for now to say the content flows quite elegantly.
I like it, Ilike it so!
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Thank you! The form really lends itself well to flow. There are some wonderful Kyrielles in this contest, some that use the repeating lines in different places- its a nice touch! Thank you my friend for the visit!
K
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This is so very well done. You have captured the style in a way that flows naturally and easily and never feels forced or awkward. Excellent.
Garrison
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Thank you so very much- coming from a fabulous poet like you I really appreciate it!
K
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I love the romance you have in this Kyrielle Form Poem. The way you have written this poem, the rhyme and flow has a dreamy lyrical quality to it.
The first three stanzas are perfect, but
stanza's 4 and 5 go off rhyme scheme.
Stanza 4
Explore the depths of love’s delight
your darling ways I can’t deny
SuggestionExplore the depths of love’s delight
under blanket of stars every night
Stanza 5
our harmony will soothe the soul
while Moon still bears her blushing glow.
Suggestion
a soothing harmony from us will flow
while Moon still bears her blushing glow.I hope you don't take offence. I only give constructive criticism and offer suggestions to fix what I precieve to be the problem.
The first three stanzas of your poem are awsome and the last two are good as well but they deviate from the Kyrielle form.
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No offence taken!! I appreciate helpfulness
I have been experimenting with near/imperfect rhyme lately and just thought this fit what I wanted to say. You give some really good suggestions as to how to change things around. I will ponder it and see
Thank you for taking the time and effort to offer such a wonderful comment! I truly appreciate it.
K
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this is a very pretty dance you have placed beneath the moon and sung.
ken
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Thank you!!
K
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So much for me to learn
Thank you for inviting me to learn more about poetry. I love the flow of words with the Kyrielle in mind.
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Kyrielle is a really fun form. I'm always learning and trying new stuff, I guess it the only way to get better. I appreciate contests like this that give me the chance to try new things.
Thanks for the visit
K
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I read it o'er and o'er 'gain too. I 'dore your ease and style... such beautiful kw... Love & stuff.
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Thank you again for a lovely comment.
K
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Charming
this is a beautiful poem-thanks for sharing -Good Luck -
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Thank you so much!!
K
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Your style, and rhythms generated, remind me of traditional English poets. I enjoy this style of yours and wonder how you manage to write consistently in such a "stylish" manner...it must be talent!
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Well, I don't know about style, but this was a fun one to write!
Thanks for a lovely comment and your visit!
K
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This is so beautiful! The flow wraps around you and holds you in! I read it over and over...Good Luck in the contest
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Thank you!!!
K
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Oh my goodness.. I just absolutley adore this poem. The sensuality enfolds the reader like silk.. I love the flow and the rhymn moves and flows well...Good luck in the contest.. This poem moved me to the soul...
Blessings Nymphetemine..
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Thank you my dear friend, Im glad you liked this one
That was a lovely comment
K
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