You are unyielding Texas heat
to icy blood within my veins,
you are the mystery in the moonlight
and every dream my stars contain.
I'm in love with hollow cheekbones
and the curvature of your spine;
I'm in awe of how your fingers
fit the spaces between mine.
Now I tremble at your touch
instead of words that take their toll,
For you have given me the will to fight
for more than just control.
Author notes
Love you.
So much.
Ha.
Comments
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I like it the way it is, but it wouldn't hurt anything to add more. I loved the 2nd stanza. Very sweet :]
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Yeah, I also feel like something's missing. Also, I see what you were trying for in the first line...but I had to re-read it a couple of times...just feels awkward. Are you writing about what I think you are writing about? It's also kind of sad sounding...I don't think this is your best work.
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I don't know. For some reason there seems to be a few stanzas missing. Like it works as it is, but in another sense... hmmmm... seems like its missing something.
Either way, I really like what you have here so far.
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hey this is a really cute one=Dlove it..amazing!!!bravo!
just lovvvved these lines!!!
Now I can tremble at your touch
instead of words that take their toll,
For you have given me the will to fight
for more than just control.
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