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goddess dead and oceans unloved —




anna:

her eyes were ringed wells, bottoms a palette of golds and browns and hazel
and her mouth a ripe rose thing, not fading—
limbs were long as waves and trees. upon the deepest fires of annihilation,
her name was carved upon sides of mountains; it was then she would never
survive the entirety of spring, and never wake from dreams of
god lifting the rivers of earth.

 

angels cannot love and neither can those without warmth

and knowledge of fire



she was now with closed mouth, have my wings survived my fall—
or are ashes what I am left to become
is there nothing that remains at all—
but a soft tut and scared flesh come undone?







he:

nameless, he grasped withered breasts and he planted himself as seed
and spoke to her with gentleness:

you are frail for now and where are you mother and father?
without life nor death,     that is sorrowful, and your wings are, without flight,
a love to mend deep your shattered occipital ~  your unhushed dreams
cannot find nourishment in the stagant well of      distilled suns,

i usher you home where your wars are empty and you cannot hear
how merciful these gods without ambrosia are.

will these limbs move in the spring when the rains have dried
and an exchange unfit of lovers with mouths swollen of sighs—
your hips unbeloved by gods, mortals who could not have cried
at the mourning of your fire with quick, loveless eyes.


he became, without sound, the gentle breeze of lungs full of oceans
while she stared unseeing.                  unloving of his embrace.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

from "pietà":
Those limbs, from every lover so withholding,
for the first time in this love-night I view.
We’ve never felt each other’s arms enfolding,
and now I only weep and watch for you.

But, look, how torn your hands have come to be—
not from my bites, beloved, not by me.
Your heart stands open now for all to share:
I only should have had the entry there.

 

(happy birthday love, my happiest wishes for you this day!)

 

In a list

A contest entry

feel me deep in your bones

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • okay, yes. you are an oldsoul-neophyte-poetess-savant... it's true- and this poem simply underscores that truism. whew, poet... who are you channeling... smilesss and many huggsss, brilliant one.





  • Hetha gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    I found this absolutely powerful and stunning. The imagery is spot on and unique. I only wish I could write so well. This carries me.

    ~Hettie

  • So far beyond me, the rhythmic beauty stuns. A very powerful write, you are wise and talented beyond your years.

  • I would love to have the poetic gift that you possess. Your writing is sophisticated and filled with heart-stopping imagery. This dialogue between heaven and earth is well worth reading more than once. The only line I stumbled on was L. 13. It confused me a bit grammatically to shift from the third to the first person in that way. Truly a stunning write. Good luck in your contest. Peace, Liz


  • malmadre gold member
    July 13

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    You have a unique style unlike any other writer I have read. I can always find excitement in the places that it takes me, running the gamut of emotions.


  • arafura gold member
    July 1

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    Different and powerful. Your voice is loud and clear, poet!


  • aeolia
    July 1

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    i am in love with this sosososo much. i'll probably be back with a critique but i just had to make that known ASAP.

    -viola

  • Your style is so unique; always recognizable and your insight, so beautifully strong. So much can be said of the thoughts and the wonderful words usage in this piece, but what makes your writing shine is the amount of emotion that radiates to the reader from your work.

    I find myself breathing in your words and taking account of them as if they were speaking to my soul. Excellent. Thank you so much for sharing with The Blue Lamp. ~Pamela


  • Nickelspring gold member
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    What interesting feelings and images this evoked in me. I love your writing, it always takes me on a mystic type journey of longing. I loved this line:
    "limbs were long as waves and trees. upon the deepest fires of annihilation"
    Nice piece.
    K


  • RedAquarius
    June 29

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    I quite like the separate views, the language is lovely - like rolling in folds of velvet. I especially liked "I usher you home", it provoked great imagery and formality for me. Really good stuff.


  • My Nemesis
    June 29

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    At a loss for words. This poem is amazing. I enjoyed reading it. In awe of your talent.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    I felt myself responding to this with heat-filled frond...
    I felt mayhap my emotions had been exposed in some well-attended forum, these words spoke so close to personal expression. What tinged and tugged with downpull are minor typos...
    Such as~
    mispellings in "palette" & "annihilation" and questionable text i.e. "mortals who could not cried" which should read cry. Thank-you from
    deeper wells for this outpour. Blue


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. That was absolutely beautiful. Deep and amazing. I loved the switch in views. The imagery was astounding, too. Excellent poem.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~

1 - 13 of 13