Time: Upper Paleolithic period. Scene: a group of hunters, one hunter a little more sensitive than the rest...
"Come hither to me, Oh, sweet Mastodon, so that I may skewer thee..."
Author notes
I guess today you would call that 'diversity'... or 'literate'... or 'sensitive'? (makes me want to form a desensitivity group for men...)
This piece was spurred by a comment that, in effect, suggested that I feminize my writing- less speaking, more foof... as you can see, I finally snapped...
and as you can see here just below, I did form that group...
- A Rebellious Group of Desensitized Men group list • next in list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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Makes me laugh!
Love the picture! Let's see more of this.
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yes, the world is filled with dandy's these days...
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no explanation needed here. I get it.
and I like it.
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are you implying that women are big ugly extinct elephants with BIG ears.... JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE BIG EARS...HUMPH!!! HOW DARE YOU?!
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lol I think everyone took this one wrong... but it would require a huge explanation... ack... OK- you win- a female critique of a piece of mine said it should be more light an airy... I said I had an aversion to that, and that it was probably my male voice, after all, I was bred to hunt... ("Come, oh sweet mastodon, so I may skewer thee!") see- it doesn't work... in effect, she was trying to feminize my writing... (I'll bet she'd put me in a dress and high heels, too...)
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Well, you're not completely off, anyway... Because as I was saying and typing "I wonder what a Mastodon would sound like?" - - - My wonderful fiance behind me replied: "like you on PMS." drum roll and reni-eye-roll
Don't wear heels, they kill. But in case you decide you have to, I have several you can borrow. -
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your fiancee is there, standing behind you? (said with evil scheming plans...)
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He doesn't stand - he's a man. He sits/lays/slouches/anythingelsebutstands.
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lol well, maybe he does it to impress you...
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A "master" piece, what to wear?
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. What does the Mastodon wear to this event? Decisions, decisions..... (The word "hither" makes this piece a true "master" piece.)
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I see that this one requires a huge explanation, for it is not about huge women... lol
A female critique of a piece of mine said there should be less 'speaking' (meaning more light and airy)... I said I had an aversion to that, and that it was probably my male hormones, after all, I was bred to hunt... ("Come, oh sweet mastodon, so I may skewer thee!" see- it doesn't work)... in effect, she was trying to feminize my writing... (I'll bet she'd put me in a dress and high heels, too, and make me whisper my poems... ech! lol) I think the light and airy are reserved for things that we really, really, really love... otherwise it just gets abused... (and may you receive your share of said whispers...)
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Sadly, I've been misunderstood, pun and all
Oh dear. I never meant to imply it was about women. I truly intended to give fashion advice for the well-dressed mastadon. It was the use of the word "hither" that I meant to stress. It has such a unique effect. The combination of "hither" and "mastadon"---well, you must admit it is unusually creative. I made a naughty play on words with "master", for that I do apologize. I must not allow my imagination to sway to the perverse, no matter what the title says. (I sincerely hope you never decipher the pun). It was good though. -
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wait, I think it is slowly forming... Oh, the horror! lol
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A satisfying death?
Well, it didn't have to be horrible. At least one of you died with a smile on his face. (That was a Shakesperian death of course). -
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hmmm... something tells me I'm still clueless... I was thinking the pun was S&M... lol
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Perish the initials
No, no, dear no, not those two letters. Think Shakespeare, no animals were harmed in the making of this pun. -
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alright- I'll do my Shakespearean homework... "hither"... hmmm...
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you pun is still safe... I'm still clueless... lol
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Picture worth a thousand
Now that is one great picture, it's worth a thousand words at least. No time for thousands, from the looks of the mastadon, you've got time for about one sentence. Well done!
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I'm giving my applause to the conversation below. (above?) not sure....
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I've added some explanation, for one's imagination can go in several directions (and some quite ghastly!)
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have you read my poem dinosaurus sex? If you form the desensitivity group, I want to be an officer. Consider this my application... whiney male poets are everywhere...
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no, but I will... dinosaurus what?
but I see that this one requires a huge explanation, for it is not about huge women... (or getting it on with a Mastodon!) lol ug...
A female critique of a piece of mine said there should be less 'speaking' (meaning more light and airy)... I said I had an aversion to that, and that it was probably my male hormones, after all, I was bred to hunt... ("Come, oh sweet mastodon, so I may skewer thee!" see- it doesn't work)... in effect, she was trying to feminize my writing... (I'll bet she'd put me in a dress and high heels, too, and make me whisper my poems... ech! lol) I think the light and airy are reserved for things that we really, really, really love... otherwise it just gets abused... -
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O yeah, and when you said the whispering thing, in high heels, it made me think of silence of the lambs... and I DO NOT appreciate it!
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I never saw that movie... and that's the second time in a month I had a comparison to it... I'd better watch it, so I know what mental associations I'm creating... something tells me the screenwriter and I think alike...
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lol, good god man, I hope not... I'll find a youtube link to the extremely disturbing scene you just reminded me of...
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ok, maybe we don't see eye to eye... lol
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I agree, I try to use it sparingly... I actually thought that this piece was about.... a mastadon. Yup. I took it literally.
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yes, you were right- it was a feminized prehistoric man, hunting a mastodon... (I'll have to "set the scene", as they say...)
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and what...do tell...classifies a male poet as whiney? for future reference, of course...
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I will not incriminate anyone.
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I said what, not who....
but ok....I'm never one to pry.... -
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lol, just saying what my prerequisites for a whiny poet are would incriminate them. I would prefer for whiney poets to realize it on their own and look for help... there is an answer. If someone out there is reading this, weeping uncontrollably... there is help for you. Don't give up... you don't have to be like this.
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lol...ok..I pictured someone like xXxemocutterkidxXx...
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I see that this one requires a huge explanation, for it is not about huge women... lol
A female critique of that "glittering eyes" piece of mine on you said there should be less 'speaking' (meaning more light and airy)... I said I had an aversion to that, and that it was probably my male voice, after all, I was bred to hunt... ("Come, oh sweet mastodon, so I may skewer thee!" ...see- it doesn't work)... in effect, she was trying to feminize my writing... (I'll bet she'd put me in a dress and high heels, too, and make me whisper my poems... ech! lol) I think the light and airy would naturally come out over things that we really, really, really love and cherish... otherwise it just gets abused... (that pic of yours drives me wild, I think there's a subtle difference there... lol) she also had her mind in the toilet (a typical pop-culture mind), but I didn't hit on that...!
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Dress and high heels?
...although I appreciate the explination as to why you felt the need to write this, the entire story behind the piece is facinates me. Having your mind in the toilet can most definitely skew the perception a little....and as far as that pic goes....really??? 
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yeeeeeeeesssss... and... I think our potty-minded friend was simply jealous of the entire scene! (not just your pic driving me gaga, but that anyone could actually be straining to understand the world...) (the bimbo!) lol
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