i let my feet drag as i swung
my toes drew long lines in the hot sand
with the gentle back and forth swaying
but it just ain't swinging...
without her
A contest entry
- Stranger on the Shore by malmadre.
1700 points, ended July 1, 2009, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
This is very well penned. Without thyme and meter yet still has a melodic flowing sound that fits the words well. Very cool slice of life with honest emotion thrown in. Good job, this.
-
-
Thanks again...
I appreciate you reading my attempts and every comment you give.
-
-
Love the brevity and the sense of longing. I can visualize this moment in time. Your words make the feeling and sight, crystal clear. Forlorn but beautifully written and heartfelt!
Much Love ♥
Renee
-
-
Thank you...
Thank you for you comment. I really like picture prompts, even though I don't do well in contests. LOL But it's all fun, and I really love to write.
-
-
Oh...these few words ache with missing that special girl, and swings are built for two, sad to think of that one lonely young man sitting there, toes dragging the hot sand, making it more insufferable.
-
-
Thank you...
Swings built for two... I like that. Thanks again for the comment. I appreciate the read...
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
