‘blasphemy,’ I said as you told me that maybe we were never meant to breathe. ‘for those ephemeral years in-between birth and death, we shape our imprint into the world. dust may cover it but it will still be there, waiting to be uncovered. someone is going to read our words, relive our lives. isn’t that incentive enough to throw your faith into sailboats and not care whether they swim or sink?’
‘maybe. but I’d be more reassured if there was something promised to us other than a grave.’
you were right, of course,
but that doesn’t mean I agreed.
the wind picked up
and swept leaves from their
trees.
this you could fix.
you picked up every grey green stem and stacked them in a pile. then you shoved a metal rod into the damp soil and glued each leaf onto the cold silver. you sat there for hours waiting for them to grow into a beautiful sequoia, luscious in it’s conviction.
when I asked you what you were doing, you replied
‘watching the impossible.’
at least you knew you were crazy.
I picked your ribs from the floor and pushed them down your throat to where they should be. you broke into convulsions as the marrow ripped away from your bones and floated in your veins. there were strands of hair on the tiles, your chromosomes trying to run as far away from your body as they could.
you were falling apart, blinking when you couldn’t breathe.
your phone message was desperate, your raspy voice pulling me to my car. I met you on top of a hill, overlooking greedy waves, dancing selfishly across the beach.
the razor glint in your eye was wild, uncontrolled.
‘I want to know how to fly.’
your voice was measured, but I could feel the salinity getting to you. I wanted to stitch your arms to your waist because I was scared that you would momentarily believe you had wings.
‘I’m sick of falling without flying. I want to feel the air prostrate itself to my grace, I want to make the winds and part the clouds. god damnit, I want to fly.’
your lifeline flatlined as I cried.
Author notes
Prompt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FBJRFGRRsk
i didn't really like this song that much, but i hope i did an allright job with it.
c a n d y m o r p h i n e
A contest entry
- all we ever see of stars are their old photographs. by sora..
700 points, ended July 12, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - just realized i didn't lose you; i lost myself. by Shifting.
1200 points, ended July 30, 44 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
if i was improper grammer, would you have the heart to correct me?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i loved it so much. i am in awe of your work.
"I picked your ribs from the floor and pushed them down your throat to where they should be. you broke into convulsions as the marrow ripped away from your bones and floated in your veins. there were strands of hair on the tiles, your chromosomes trying to run as far away from your body as they could.
you were falling apart, blinking when you couldn’t breathe."
this was my favorite part.
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"I want to make the winds and part the clouds".
i admire your ability to take the promt you did not enjoy and turn it into something wonderful. this was a read of substance. i felt the various parts fit together smoothly and tie concisely at the end. heart-wrenching imagery. i loved this.
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Oh, darlin'... There is nothing so sad as one-sided love; it hurts, I won't lie. But I do hope that writing about it helps
In the first line, "breath" should be "breathe". And in your "If I was improper...", 'grammer' should be 'grammar'. Sorry for being nitpicky, but that's just me.
Good luck, hun.
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you picked up every grey green stem and stacked them in a pile. then you shoved a metal rod into the damp soil and glued each leaf onto the cold silver. you sat there for hours waiting for them to grow into a beautiful sequoia, luscious in it’s conviction.
I've noticed a sad trend in your poems of late
have you lost someone? Or are you going to lose someone?
♥
B
I'm still here -
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yeah. i guess so.
i've been feeling a bit conjested in my relationship of late. sure things will work out, but for now this is how i'm feeling. -
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awe
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your lifeline flatlined as I cried.
wow this piece was raw with emotions and imagery. one your best pieces iv read today :] you had a very strong ending that really yelled out this was the end, it was a powerful ending; it was brilliant. -
"when I asked you what you were doing, you replied
‘watching the impossible.’
at least you knew you were crazy."
Fave line.. ^^
i really liked this one. sounds sad to watch someone you love go crazy.....
Nice work...
Keep it up!
XoXo -
sorry you didn't like it haha, i had trouble consulting my playlists trying to find stuff that would not offend contestants with excessive screaming D: will come back and comment this properly later :]
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