This being's legs are four wire sculptures,
stretched longer and thinner, as though flesh could be moulded.
Digits ivy-climb around each other.
"Perfect..."
*twitch*
"...Immaculate..."
And every cloud simultaneously errupts.
The black holes in your crystalised sky spheres ravenous,
their toothless mouths visibly grasping
at the space between us.
Sometimes, all I can do is laugh.
We do not fit like shoes or gloves -
we're a jigsaw puzzle
in which every piece
fits every other
all at once.
Author notes
C h a i n s a w
I think I'm finished... I'm afraid I've got some writer's block on this one.
A contest entry
- favorites-break, break these walls inside your mind by new born.
3500 points, ended August 29, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I don't think you need to write any more on this one (unless of course you have something else you want to say with it), it sounds complete to me, and it's fantastic - I love how saturated it is with emotive language and I especially love the closing similie, it's vivid and to the point.
Another excellent write.
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it's amazing so far. keep working on it and tell me when you're done. :]
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And every cloud simultaneously errupts.
-that is a powerful line. most probably my favourite in the whole piece.
we're a jigsaw puzzle
in which every piece
can fit every other
all at once
-shit,shit,shit. that's perfect
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"Digits ivy-climb around each other."
I can't help but notice how you like to create noun-verbs like this.
I'll comment again when you've finished with it
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You know, I never really noticed I guess, but I do create noun-verbs a lot XD Very observant.
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yess.
i think it's perfect, but if you're gonna add more, God's Speed!
(I'll comment again later, i think, when it's done)
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