My mother would wear you behind her ear,
And float some more of your heads in a bowl
So sweet to the ants with an oil that's clear
Your scent to my nose forever will pull
Away from my fears of spring letting go,
And Summers that burst wide with a breeze
Somehow with you near I always just know
I can bloom over night too, when I please
You remind me that God must have a nose
And perhaps even so far as a face
When outside my window you hold your pose
Clearly, too true for corsage or a vase
Your homology, to me, breathtaking
As a morning with love for the making
Author notes
Written March 20th, 2004
In a list
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1 - 23 of 23
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A sonnet, a lovely tribute to a white fragrant gradenia. The fourth line went off a bit but it does not affect much of the thought of this write. Somehow Reenie has a point on that 'heads' thing. But overall, this is a poet's work you've got. Good job. My applause.
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I enjoyed your tribute to the Gardenia (which happens to be one of my favorite flowers as well).I do believe that one line sort of took away from the beauty of this " and float some more of your heads in a bowl...sounds a little macabre
. Maybe the word blooms or blossoms or petals? It could just be me , however that kind of tripped me up in an otherwise pretty write about a pretty memory...best wishes in this contest,
Reenie
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I like this one, can I save it?
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ooh, all this sensory language/imagery was fantastic - a comparison of the physical, the natural, with the unimagined spiritual. the antithesis of the ordinary and extraordinary made me smile
some metre was a bit mixed up and so i felt the flow could be better, but i was left with a good impression after that perfect little couplet. congrats, hex
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great ending
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To capture a fleeting promise such as the scent of a flower, it's perfect. One should read this and then wait all year long to see if it is true.
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good call, thanks doll.
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Last line in the first stanza I think to should be too..and just a suggestion, would change the meaning, but in the last stanza if you changed morning to mourning..well
I like the word play, but anyway, a softer poem from you ..I like the optimism ..makes me want to smell gardenia ..but I'm no god ..or goddess..just made me want to.
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excrement
beautiful sonnet. fresh, airy, light allowing breaths between the lines and especially at the end. -
Such beauty captured within your words here.
I liked this very much.
Ann
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My cousin had a gardenia plant growing last summer
Ahhh the smell what wafting fragrance through the air and even more so you involved your mom in this poem with the flower behind her ear
You do know there is a Promote your favorite flower contest going on
If I were you this would definitely be one to enter into it
Love n hugs hun
Susan~~~
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I can bloom over night too, when I please
-This to me has such a double entendre that it screams! It reminds me so much of some of the other poems you've written about your mother.
And the last line, has to be one of my favorites. It has such a slow, sluggish feel to it, even how it reads. But it still rolls off your tongue...
pretty.
N... -
awesomeness
Beautiful!! I loved it. It was all very interesting. It rhymed so well and it all flowed together. I loved this a lot. Nicee poem. Keep writing. Much love and take care
REBEL -
I laugh at no one. I may, upon rare occasion, suffer a small smile, but 'tis in knightly agreement with the ways of the world.
This is a lovely, near sweet piece -- a scented sonnet fragrant to the nose and senses.
Edited on Mar 20, 11:09 p.m. because 'spellink'. -
applaud
I found this very captivating and well captured... I think this is one your best pieces yet!!! I like your use of words and what a vivid picture it painted... Thanks for sharing this... Take care of yourself, always ~Star -
oatmeal, this was sweet
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beautiful
aroma-poetry!
This is a wonderfully written tribute not only to a flower but to a Mom. -
hey there is a flower contest going on...god i love this...but anytime you have the words love and making plus a poetic form on a page -- i'm pretty much a goner...(yeah, bohb is laughing at me right now, i'm sure) adding to my read everyday like the black orchid poem...you lovely, lovely dork you.
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lovely
what a sweet poem. It has an upbeat tone to it. I love gardenias. -
This is..refreshing for me..Lol, I'm allergic to pretty much all flowers,but still...I think they're beautiful; you wrote a great poem
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excellent
Gardenias are such beautiful flowers... and I bet your mother looked especially special with one tucked behind her hear.
I really like this, Jerimi. And you've written it so well, perfect form and rhyming.
Another wonderful write
Dee -
oh oh oh ....now why'd ya have to go and do that.....you are killing me...
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This is really beautiful, I can smell them... Your words paint a very beautiful image.
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