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my lita

there are no words to describe the pain you have caused me in my life. for eight unbearable years, I have been second guessed, mentally slapped, & killed inside. I haven't been loved properly, all because my little sister wasn't normal.

 

 

 

please don't take this to mean I don't love you because it's quite the opposite. you are my sunshine, my hope, my dreams. I would die for you, give any part of me you needed. but my love is the only thing keeping me sane.

 

 

 

my love is what could be hurting me me though. sometimes the people make fun of you for talking funny & walking off balance. sometimes I want to grab their shoulders & shake them until they realized. if you could only see how far she's come! if only you could see that her walking & her talking are a miracle!you didn't ask to be born with a disease. a disorder, the doctors call it. you didn't ask to be born with an impairment to your lovely brain.

 

 

 

but I see a spark of hope in your smiling eyes every morning. I see butterflies & ocean waves rolling through your thoughts, keeping you from losing yourself entirely. don't lose yourself, my lita. stay with me, stay capable.

 

 

 

if you don't stay up to your fullest talent, I might lose myself. I might just drop my musty books on the ground one day & grab that bitches throat, telling her to stop looking at you so funny, don't you realize she has autism.

 

 

 

you'd be waggling your tiny finger at me right now, telling me that 'bitches' is a bad word. I wouldn't believe your ability to sort that out, but I'd be proud & I would hug you & you'd try to pull away because I am no longer your hero. you've grown out of that stage of needing me forever, of needing a hand to hold & a hug to fall into.

 

 

 

i will never run away from you, no matter how far my long legs want to carry me.

Author notes

On our way home from the library today, my sister Lita & I were talking about butterflies. A lady passed by us with her boyfriend/husband/whatever & as they passed, she muttered, "What kind of idiots have conversations about butterflies?"

It set me off.

k e l s i l o v e

A contest entry

xx.

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • tessfully
    August 1

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    Congratulations!!

    This is a beautiful and honest expression of love and committment; it turned me inside-out emotionally. Lita sounds like a lovely girl and she certainly has an amazing big sister. Thank you for sharing your world (and butterflies) with us....

    And congratulations on Gold; well deserved indeed!!!!

  • Macsword
    July 30

    Edit | Reply

    I will not DQ this excellent write..

    Some might call me an emotional old fool. But I am a poet and I have written many poems about butterflies. This write brought tears to an old fool. Thank you for your entry. I will not penalize against a restriction I did not make but next contest I will ensure to add a rule about concurrent contests.

    Please do not respond to this comment until after the contest is judged. Thank you.


    • ladybug.
      August 1
      Edit | Reply
      I'm sorry that this didn't entirely follow the rules. It won a trophy after I had entered it & I didn't even think twice!


  • hawkeslake gold member
    July 26

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    This is an amazing prose-poem, in which painful honesty and marvelous love show through clearly. It has a lovely flow, telling a story which reveals as much about the writer as about the subject of the poem. The line breaks give us a moment to digest the content, which is deep and worthy of our thought and understanding. I applaud your courage and your talent. Hawkeslake Lita

  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this piece. It was really really good! NICELY DONE! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • redbarchettadrive gold member
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    This shows eternal dedication. Very seldom seen in poetry. Nice!!!


  • Antebellum
    June 25

    Edit | Reply
    "i will never run away from you, no matter how far my long legs want to carry me."

    Loved this line.

    this is amazing. People like that [the ones from your a.n] piss me off. It's a proven fact that some of the smartest people have autism [or some other disorder] people just need to grow up and accept that although somethings wrong with someone they still breath, they still have a heart and mind- they're not THAT different.

    I have a cousin who has autism, and he lives in his own little world where nothings wrong..he sees the good in everyone and everything.
    All people should be like that.

    wow anyways, sorry to ramble- good luck
    thanks for entering


  • Aquamarine.
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    i would have punched that bitch dead in the face.
    people like that don't deserve anything they get.
    gah,
    i'm sorry..


  • Jamzine
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    That was interseting


  • Enrinye
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    What kind of bitch was that? bloody hell,people are just getting more irritating day by day...it set me off too...

    to your poem: I loved the flowing of your poem, I could sense your emotions for your sister and the situation...you have some wonderful lines there:

    ''but I see a spark of hope in your smiling eyes every morning. I see butterflies & ocean waves rolling through your thoughts, keeping you from losing yourself entirely. don't lose yourself, my lita. stay with me, stay capable.''

    simply beautiful...
    I wish you many great moments with your sister, she is very lucky to have you and don't pay attention to anyone else, they're just morons ...

    take care
    Suza

1 - 13 of 13