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Sunset Vibrations

Flamingo flames flare fitfully, restore
fey fanfare firework vistas sparkling West.
Dusk's twilight sky shows gorgeous colours more
gorgeous still compared to emptiness
of night’s dark empire, highlights all before
final flickers, filtered, fail, life blessed.
Now Nature slumbers. Memory's dream store
snaps insights from some random frames at rest.
Faery fire tongues with oblivion war.
Suspended animation, loss of zest
ignores for pregnant promise's encore
gestates as wonder. Time through time attests
to paradise reflections palette wed,
pigment variations sky theme spread.

Evensong denies day's noise pollution,
sounds shimmer shadow, subtle, minor key
no less intense though major cares may be
melted into context.  Some solution
to wordly worries inner ear finds - fusion
of past and future opportunity
may span gap, bridge mind fails to find when we
busy bee from whim to whim confusion.
Night knows no silence, spurns dark tomb's seclusion,
root grows, sap flows, while winter set spring free,
so dark prepares tomorrow's clarity
while mole scares worm beneath calm's balm illusion.
Stars signal stars as relay stations hum
and poet soundless pens by rule of thumb.

Author notes

robi3_0288_robi3_0000 SXX_NIX
see sunset image http://www.spaceweather.com/swpod2009/25jun09/BrianWhittaker1.jpg

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Outstanding

    For me this was all about the quiet reflection we get the end of the day when we stare at the night sky and feel a deep sense of inner peace. The description is excellent and the alliteration refined. It always impresses me as to how many different thoughts and ideas you put into your poetry and here the result is a very balanced poem. Your technique is second to none. Best of luck in the contest.

  • I found this to be flowing in beautiful imagery and wise wording.


  • crivanea silver member
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    creativity: 18/20
    imagery: 17/20
    word choice: 20/20
    impact: 35/40

    wow...some really nice poetic technique! nice alliteration for the opening!..nice flow also

  • As evening draws into to night the world takes on a completely different air. Sunsets are beautiful things to write about but what I like in this poem is how you've taken the reader further than that particular moment to think about how the night prepares the world for the following day. I also like that it covers the greater picture while including small details, like the mole, that are often overlooked


  • Nakatrea
    June 25
    Edit | Reply
    I like what you've done with the alliteration in this piece. I would recommend some more line breaks to separate ideas. I find it a bit hard to read with the capital and the minuscule letters starting lines.

    One more thing, try not to use the same word twice : gorgeous colours more
    gorgeous still compared to emptiness

    Otherwise well penned. Good job and good luck in the contest.


    Ka

  • Macsword
    June 25

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    Very nice lines here...

    Now Nature slumbers. Memory's dream store
    snaps insights from some random frames at rest.

    Night knows no silence, spurns dark tomb's seclusion,

    and your alliteration snaps and doesn't look any way forced.

    Well done Jonathan.


  • Elfin
    June 25

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Jonathan, this is absolutely beautiful, just my cup of tea. Thankyou so much for a lovely read and good luck in the contest. Val

1 - 7 of 7