I did a contest recently... some of the entries were close and powerful, but I enjoyed rewriting them to make them (to my eye) more powerful. The lines for who wrote what are blurry here, so I credit each poem I used as a source, though nearly each line of each I've rewritten. I'll remove any of these if the author complains...
The contest was here:
http://allpoetry.com/contest/show/2448267
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5421617
cherry trees blooming
the northern wind removes
spring, petal by petal
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5357517
I cast the rod into shimmering waves
reeling in emptiness
casting yet again
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5430521
How did I live?
How did I?
How?
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5325359
a full moon rising
white shoulders, black silk leaving
my geisha smiles
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5412659
in the desert
a sudden cold rain strikes
browns turning to green
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2321346
back from the rice fields
my plate is still empty
pray for rain
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5412719
a winter chill in the air
still, spring begins
flowers amid the drifting snow
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5406689
sea spray
the shore goes on forever
lonely, I watch the tide.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5404969
following
a firefly's light
to paradise. follow
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5103805
rising from the emerald water
her ivory body breathing
eyes meet and we share a smile
http://allpoetry.com/poem/1475561
a winter rose
wilted, laid to rest
summer falls again
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5389801
A cricket singing
I'm his only audience
during the autumn sunset
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4678347
leaves like children
dancing around the cobblestones
falling into a pile
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5388975
seeds in the air
my wild grasses spread
in the four directions
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5388877
my rose blooms again
pink skin against the sky
waiting for a visitor
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5388447
swaying in the wind
I lose my petals
new buds struggling against winter
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5388423
along the sidewalk
leaves dancing freely
in the hot wind
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5388213
blossoms appear
sitting together in
gentle spring rain
thoughts?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I love Haiku
wonderful job. So does that mean they arent a strict
5 7 5 syllable count??
I get confused with all that some say, as long as theres 17 syllables total
it doesnt matter.
s
Enjoyed yours
Passions
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Enjoyed the haikus.
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These verses are Very Good
This one is my favorite, because it is so thought provoking:
"I cast the rod into shimmering waves
reeling in emptiness
casting yet again"
In my mind it raises the question, -- is everything physical? Is thought? Casting out of matter in motion into shimmering waves of nothing, -- the waves, themselves, are imagination. Why cast there yet again? But this is not understood. People respond to myth and fiction. Much of it is pretty and fun, much brings on death and destruction.
The latter is due to disagreement among different organisms and individuals. It will take many more generations to sift out fact from fiction as to what is real in our thinking.
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The plural of Haiku is also Haiku, not Haikus.
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collect
Enjoyed reading them
Joel smiles
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