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When you Departed ...

When you departed
In silence - with fears
For water’s uncharted
I held back my tears;
New news - growing old,
Much older, my bliss;
One’s power cajoled
Is powerlessness.

True blue, I was mourning
And wondering how
I’d face each day’s dawning
While ‘then’ - wasted ‘now’ --
When love is a token
Or solitaire game,
Those thoughts left unspoken
Leave no one to blame.

Your ghost drifts before me
Through each passing year,
And speaks in a key
That I barely can hear.
Should you transform
And return to reveal - -
I’d quickly conform,
From this dream of surreal.

A mystical set
For a stage preconceived
And please don’t forget
What keen senses perceived!
Let the music still play
While the words get in line,
For that magical day
And somewhere in time.


© 2009 Joy A Burki-Watson

Author notes

Option #2
Choose one of his works (writings) and then
write a poem of your own
inspired by his work.

What does it make you think, feel or remember?

http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/424-Lord-George-Gordon-Byron-When-We-Two-Parted

When We Two Parted by Lord George Gordon Byron1788-1824, written in 1808

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow--
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shrudder comes o'er me--
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee so well--
Long, long I shall rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met—
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?--
With silence and tears.

A contest entry

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Comments

  • I can feel the emotion in this piece and easily set myself into it. The style i swell done with the original and I found this to be amoving piece overall. Very nicely done.


  • Mirthryl
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    Brings to mind the sadness of a woman left behind on the dock as her love's ship departs.
    Excellent metaphor "love is a token or solitaire game" and "dream of surreal." The heart sets its own terms for what is accepted as "the real thing," even if others caring others protest "surreal/unreal"!

    The concluding stanza conveys a sense of performance, that the waiting lover refuses to ring down the final curtain of the play, in the enduring hope that a "mystical...musical...magical" conclusion of "happily ever after" is still waiting in the wings.

    Outstanding ABAB rhyme throughout. Excellent word choices give a rich, times-past feel to this write.

  • montez gold member
    June 24
    Edit | Reply

    Absolutely..

    ...splendid.
    Robin.