green & brown is what you wore on a regular basis.
they were your comfort, the only colours that could calm you.
you were my comfort & my brother, all in the same.
age didn't matter between us because our adhesive bond
was nothing to compete with.
only nineteen years old;
you were deployed to the hellhole we call iraq.
i waved goodbye to my beloved, adopted brother
& smiled even though i had no idea when we'd see each other again.
six short months later --
i recieved a letter saying you were coming back from the war.
but you weren't coming home; of course not.
they sent you to ohio.
three years passed;
we exchanged letters & phone calls & emails.
i saved every sweetsmelling, handwritten letter --
they're in a black nike shoebox on my desk.
again, you were sent back to your nightmare.
i remembered the last time you left &
i remembered that i didn't know when i would see you again.
this time, the letter came & said you'd be coming home.
& all i have left of you are the notes from ohio & our memories.
Author notes
Zachary Treharn
August 14, 1986-February 27, 2009
A contest entry
- && sometimes maybe i want to cry too by Simply Simple.
900 points, ended July 14, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everything looks perfect[from such great heights] by catalyst..
400 points, ended July 10, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From June 2009 by amaranthine lover.
2000 points, ended July 22, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
xx.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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20.3 / 25
What happened sucks. People our age shouldn't be dying in some retarded war. I like the pace of this quite a bit. You captivated my by your words and held me throughout the entire piece. Nicely done m'lady!
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Stunning
And I am soldier too. -c
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Good job
straight, to the point and raw, the way emotion should be. I could feel what you said. I do want a little more lyricism, but you still did good work. -
War is hell, no two ways about it. The people it hurts are many, good luck to you.
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Beautifully raw and emotional; I'm torn between balling my eyes out and sobbing quietly
I like how you've used the italics and bold to emphasis your point of view and emotions
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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War is hell, plain and simple. Even those that come home, never really get to come home. A part of the war will always be with them. I like the way you wrote this.
I am sure that Zack is in Gods army now.
Joe
(Vietnam 1970-71)
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This was a very deep poem. It has alot of feeling in it and it tells the story well.
Things like this are tragic...
War is not a good thing.
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this hurts.
incredibly written.
i hate how they gave you hope and then ripped it away.
i'm sorry.
[i miss my brother, too.]
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This was brilliantly written...but god i'm so sorry.
Dad's in the raf, and mums mad at him because she's worried I guess. This just brings the reality of war home hard.
This is very emotional, but it has every right to be that way.
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This is very sad. My son is about to go into the Navy and I am terifed of it. I really liked how vivid this peom was!
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beautiful piece, very emotive. i have a little brother in the army. sorry for your loss.
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Such a deeply emotional write. I found it very moving.
So sorry for your loss.
I wish you all the best in the contests.
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Well... It's really good. But it didn't make me cry. It was still really good though. I really loved it. I guess it depends on when I read it. I'll be re-reading all of them. Amazing poem. Just didn't make me cry.
Still amazing though.
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Thank you :]
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oh no... that's horrible...
i kind of thought he would be coming back again and being stationed, but then you like chopped off a hand reaching out for hope... it's brilliant.
i'm so sorry though. -
You really made me cry with this one. I don't understand why the good ones always get taken from us, but it happens, and we are left feeling powerless. Thanks for sharing this heartfelt piece, it had to have been hard for you.
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Wow
This got me choked up a little bit.
So filled with emotion and a hint of anger even, kind of like "how dare you take him from me"
Very well penned -
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Thank you very much(:
I was slightly controlled by my emotions while writing this, if you couldn't tell
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Yeah, it's very emotionally-based
But honestly, how could it not be?
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