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Disruption Corruption

The jumping fish in the pond.
It's where the children use to play.
Near the old house in the woods.
There was the portal to a new world.
Mystical words were chanted and whispered for magical release.
Dangered surfaced so the boys and girls fled, never returning.
Silience fills the air.
Now the house always creeks.
The water is as dark as the night.
The fish have disappeared...

Author notes

prompt:

Hito wo yume to ya
omoishiruramu;
sumi suteshi,
sono wa kochou no
yadori nite

by monk Sogi

Translation of Steven D. Carter:

That man's life is but a dream -
is what we now come to know.

Its house abandoned,
the garden has become home
to butterflies.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • awannabepoet
    September 3
    Edit | Reply
    Great imagery and flow with this very specific prompt.

    I really enjoyed reading this poem.


  • motel silver member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply

    an interesting take on the prompt. great layers of images which create an eerie and very compelling picture.
    congrats on the bronze.


  • tearrsofthemoon
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the bronze. This piece is really wonderful. You have done a really good job using hte prompt. The prompt itself is rather interesting, and your piece is short, and simple, but good. Thank you for sharing.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    Great work here with this prompt and congratulations
    to you on your trophy! I really enjoyed reading it and
    keep up the wonderful work. Thanks for sharing it!




    Jeremy0826


  • Rose Angel gold member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    Worthy of the trophy...The awesome feeling of what once was eeringly from beginning to end has a beautiful tone to it.....a mystifying loveliness....Well done!


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    You did well with the prompt given...I like the flow of this and the imagery, too! I am glad Rend shared this and your talent with us!!!

    Blessed Be,
    ~Raven


  • Supertramp gold member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    very nice and well told poem.. a litle short though i would like some more bite in this.. have a nice day..


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    my i can truly undestand why this piece won a Bronze it was worth Gold
    your thoughts and images are filled with life then it all fades like a dream would
    brillant penning!!
    you are featured in todays Poem

    thank you for sharing

    Blessings always

    Rend

  • drapedindarkness
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    Haunting and haunted
    Unlike the girls and boys
    This reader is undaunted
    Liking how you play with word toys

  • Bob Fox
    June 27

    Edit | Reply

    My

    Dark and delicious. Leaving the reader to seek more of this adventure. Well done poet. keep up the good work.

1 - 10 of 10