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Lily White Love

Lily White Love

I had a dream frogs were jumping in my bed

I thought of you and couldn’t get you out of my head

REFRAIN:Girl my love for you is lily white       
        Why don't you stay home with me tonight?

I called you up and asked you to my pad

You said you couldn’t and that it made you sad

REFRAIN:Girl my love for you is lily white
        Why don’t you stay home with me tonight?


Now I wonder who is hopping around?

You’re never home and always going out of town


REFRAIN: Girl my love for you is lily white
        Why don't you stay home with me tonight?


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Comments

  • thepoetx69
    June 29

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    My first thought was I'm lost, what is it that this artist trying to say. I did enjoy the hook, reminded me of a jingle. Didnt really like the REFRAIN; in there. it made it alil difficult to follow, I felt the passion I think you were looking to express. I honestly felt confused from begining to end. The way you did tie in the title, first line and last lines were very gifted. I personally would eliminate the Refrain statement, for like I mentioned. It makes it alil difficult to follow along for it appears to be more of a conversation then a poem. I hope this wasn't offensive, and I look forward to reading additional pieces from you. Thank you for sharing your work with us all.

  • seay49 gold member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply

    special recognition for dreamland!

    fun, strange, funny, and maybe insightful. I like it, hope I am getting all that is there. I can offer no suggestions for improvement. lovede reading this one!