Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

So It Turns Out

Missing image

                                                           

                                                           Relationships

are a lot like trees:

where roots                                          thrive

deep,

they are determined

to live.

 

You can dismember the branches

and sever the trunk,

leave only a dying,

reminiscent stump.

 

Expect sudden death

or a slow, steady rot -

 

then a fragile, thin

shoot sprouts up                                 from

the ruined foundations of                     love,

 

 

If you                                                   nurture

that shaky sapling,

water it with                                        kindness &

bathe it in                                             adoration

 

perhaps one day

it will become

another strong, solid tree

 

grown out of the remnants

of what used to be.

 

Author notes

In the same vein as the last poem.

Again, influenced greatly by the writing of Ellen Hopkins.

Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Eternal Hippie
    July 29
    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    This was beautiful! I love the way you compared the likes of relationships to trees and the last two lines offer a very powerful and inspiring finale!


  • Sesheta
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    I love Ellen Hopkins, and I love this; I can totally see the connection. Especially that bit--"perhaps one day/it will become/another strong, solid tree/grown out of remnants/of what used to be." Brilliantly portrayed, and a quite apt metaphor.


  • Coathanger
    July 20
    Edit | Reply
    What a imaginative way to see things. I wish I watered one or two more plants more.


  • Emmyb gold member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely admire and adore the way you formed this poem. Very clever. very very true. very real. love it.


  • Flare the Arcphoenix
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    Metaphors are euphoric, and similes bring smiles.

    I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of yours. I also love the formatting trick - very well done! Both the poem and the separated message contain such wisdom and truth...true love can be found in agapè love, as the Greeks would say - an unconditional kind of love, yet a love missing in today's world among the vast majority of us.
    In addition, I think I needed to read this - even when one's heart is torn to pieces, there is still a fresh foundation. ^_^

    In short, I love this love poem! Great work.

    --Daniel
    o}--{=======>


  • PastelMoons gold member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    How lovely
    and unique...
    Great metaphor!
    Stunning and beautiful
    Thanks for sharing

    ~Pastel


  • glitterydoom
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    i love how you've set this out Its so cool and pleasing to the eyes and then the words themselves were just simply stunning. I love it


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    wow...cleverly written...I really liked how you portrayed such a deep piece with a unique way of writing and still have great flow! awesome!




  • awannabepoet
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    Well crafted indeed, you put some thought behind those words and they do shine quite brightly I would say.


    I really enjoyed reading the poem behind the peom and perhaps the poets mind is on display here as well.

    I like it, I like it so!


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. That was incredible. I loved the way you combined two poems in one. Pretty cool!

    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • CaliOkie silver member
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    How true. Love, real love, always finds a way to survive and grow, adding to itself day by day. The roots of love always work deeper into the soil of the soul fed by the springs of life. And it is love that holds that soul soil together and prevents erosion.

    This is so well written with a wonderful gentleness. Perfect metaphor. Excellent.

    Garrison


  • Cup-a-Joe
    June 23
    Edit | Reply

    Ellen, uh Allie

    I just have to say i love this. Very good.

    Joe


  • Pure Thought silver member
    June 22
    Edit | Reply
    Poetic message is good.
    Style is hard to read on line, or it could be my new glasses


  • JohnnyD gold member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    Indeed, it is always best to find someone with similar roots which can be entangled. I've only run across two women in the last dozen years who fit that bill and neither are available. Hopefully my roots don't find the septic system huh?

    Nice write gal- very



    Dad


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    I didn't even notice the message on the right hand side in the last poem...thought you were just playing around with the format. But wow - that is really cool. I really love how you did that....

1 - 17 of 17